Mouth Shut
by LozzieLiz
Summary: Sometimes it hurts more to bottle everyting inside rather than to say whats on your mind. My Take on what i thought should have happened at the end of season 6. **NEW CHAPTER**
1. Chapter 1

Hey Guys… This is my First GG's Fic (to be posted anyways LOL) so please be gentle! Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

The first chapter is a song fic, but the rest won't be! The song is "Mouth Shut" by the Veronicas.

Mouth Shut.

_I kept my mouth shut from the start_

_I guess I left you in the dark_

Lorelai sighed as she walked away. The initial sound it made to her ears was that of resolve, of closure. However the slight choking gasp that followed definitely showed weakness. Weakness, sadness and love.

_You thought you knew me but you don't_

_You say you love me but you won't_

_When you find out who I am_

She pulled her cardigan closed over her body to stop the slight shaking in her hands. Then feeling as though the simple gesture would not do, she wrapped her arms around her body as if to ward off the cold, while willing herself not to cry. 'Must not cry' she thought stubbornly, as though trying to put on a brave face. As if the infliction was as simple and everyday as a stub of the toe or a scrape on the knee. 'Must not cry' she kept repeating over in her head. But even as she willed herself not to, she found her hands move to her face to swat at the moisture that had begun to run silently down her cheeks. 'Must not cry' she willed again.

_I kept my mouth shut for to long_

_Although I knew that it was wrong_

She walked through Stars Hollows animated streets. Even though it was after nine at night, many people were still about. To her right Patty was teaching her evening couples yoga class. (Also known as "Karma Sutra for dummies") Andrew and Gypsy having a heated debate over who was the hotter desperate housewife, Taylor Rattling onto some poor kid who had the audacity to run on the sidewalk and Babbette gas-bagging to "east-side- Tilly" about the latest gossip. She saw Patty look over at her and sive a wave. Lorelai smiled in return, but knew the smile did not reach her eyes. Patty however did not notice this as one of her couples had taken a tumble from their position and landed in a heap on the floor, causing her to look away from Lorelai. That connection lost, the smile on her face darkened again as her eyes blurred over once more. She blinked back the tears this time as she continued to trudge through the streets of Stars hollow one foot in front of the other... one step further, then another, then another. Her movements were mechanical, she had no control. She did however manage to turn around and sneak a peek behind her.

_And now we're in this way too far_

_And i'm about to break your heart_

_Tear everything we had apart_

He hadn't moved yet, obviously still baffled by her sudden outburst, resulting in her departure. He stared longingly after her, the light from the diner behind him, illuminating his silhouette. She saw him take his hat off and run his hand through his hair, as was his custom when he was frustrated or confused. Her eyes didn't leave him for what seemed like a whole minute, but was really only a second or two as he returned his cap and stood tall once again. As he straightened his back, his eye caught hers briefly capturing the look of longing and sadness. He looked for a moment, like he was about to start after her, but when he hesitated Lorelai turned her head around once more and kept on walking.

_'Cos i'm feeling lost_

_Lying numb in your arms_

_The reasons are gone_

_For why I was holding on to you_

She resisted the urge to run away, keeping a steady pace. She resisted the urge to turn around and bury herself in his strong arms. She resisted the urge to cry. Because how do you deal when the man you love doesn't want to marry you.

_I tried so hard_

_To be the one_

_I don't like who i've become._

She made her way slowly up the path, not caring that her new shoes were sinking into the grass outside the Gilmore household. She hesitated when she was about to place her foot on the bottom step because she knew that once she was inside she would not be able to escape him. This house that had been so faithful, so comforting to her and her daughter for so many years, was now as much his home as it was theirs. She hadn't noticed before, but everything, every tiny little thing that he had done in preparation for the two of them to call this house their own, now shone brightly in her mind. , from the actual extension that protruded above, to the simple nail he placed in the wall on the inside of the door (for her keys, as she was forever loosing them) from the banister inside that he had spent days sanding back and painting, to the new shelfs in the hallway. The lose floorboard in the kitchen (that the Gilmore girls had nicknamed "creaky" years before, as it had always been loose) to the mesh wiring he had placed over the rain gutters, so she would never have to get him to clean her rain gutters again. All of these things served her as reminders of what was, would have been, and now, sadly, could never be.

_Won't keep my mouth shut anymore_

_I've had my share, i'm closing doors_

Turning away from the house, she walked slowly towards her car... right now she needed was someone to talk to, should she feel the need, but she needed the comfort of someone who would simply hold her and let her cry, for that was all she felt she was capable of. She couldn't go to Sookie, having already spent the previous night on her couch, in tears, and Rory was throwing a going away party for Logan... so who could she turn to?

Christopher.

_And now you know i'm not afraid_

_I know exactly what you'll say_

_Well i'm sorry it's too late_

Remembering his speech, not two hours before about how he 'had her back' and she had his (gosh, was that really only two hours ago?) she quickly dismissed that idea though as she thought of how he might take her showing up in the middle of the night (because by the time she got there it would BE the middle of the night) he might think that this was an opportunity to take advantage of the situation- or he might just be of no support what-so-ever with the 'I told you so's" and pitying looks. "Poor Little Lorelai" "she Picked the wrong guy again" "this never would have happened if she married me" in quite the predicament, she moved back towards the house, settling on the porch. she then sat on the swing chair trying her hardest to keep it all in. she failed this however once she remembered that night he gave her, her engagement ring (which she supposed she would have to take off now) and the time they spent basking in the afterglow of what had been a quick, passionate and somewhat impromptu lovemaking session, right there on the very swing. The fact that it could have been a public show, was not lost on the lovers (well, with neighbours like Babbette, everything you did was a public show) but it only seemed to heighten the pleasure.

_Cos i'm feeling lost_

_Laying numb in your arms_

_The reasons are gone_

_For why I was holding on to you_

_I've tried so hard, to be the one_

Tears tracked down her cheeks and quickly turned into silent sobs as Lorelai realised that for as long as this man was still in her heart, he was so much apart of her, and she could never escape that. She lay her head down on the chair besides her, her heart shattering into thousands of tiny pieces as she cried tears for the man she loved.

The wash of tears seemed to trickle down her face as though someone had left the faucet on in her eyes, and yet- they didn't stop. she thought about what it was that he would be doing as she was crying her eyes out, her heart ripped open - and remembered that look upon his face as she had walked away... hurt, confusion, frustration and anger. He was angry... at her... what right did he have to be mad at her? After all she was the one who was suffering. She was the one who had been pushed out of their 'couple life' as if she were nothing. Instead of being the one he could turn to in his hour of need he turned away and thought nothing of it.

Well no more...

She was determined, now more than ever to not be 'That girl' the one who cries and falls apart. She was a great woman and a damn strong one at that. Wallowing in self pity would not help that. She needed to be strong. Stronger than the woman she had become over the last four months. stronger than the lost little girl she had been when she had run away from home, stronger that the fiancé of the man who had no intention of making her a part of his future, stronger than she had been since his initial indiscretion when she had found out about his daughter, stronger than the woman who had allowed, no, offered to postpone their wedding because she didn't know what else to do.

Her momentary bout of confidence was cut short by the sight of his flannel shirt hanging over the porch railing. She had come to wear it more often now - almost every night, as if to try and fill the void that he left when he would no longer sleep beside her - instead, opting to stay at the apartment under the pretence of 'early deliveries'. It wasn't the fact that she didn't believe him about these deliveries, on the contrary- she basically knew his delivery schedule as well as he did. She just hated the fact that he had now used it many times, where as before he would think nothing of coming to the house affectionately known as 'the crap shack' after midnight sometimes if he had been at the diner late - and he would have no queries about getting up just 5 minutes earlier to be at the diner to meet the bread guy, or the meat guy, or Jackson... whoever was showing up with early deliveries. that first night when he had used the cover of 'early deliveries' she had cried herself to sleep silently as she bundled herself in that very same flannel shirt (the one she had worn the morning after they had first made love) under the proviso that it had smelt like him, and offered her the comfort and the warmth that he did - to an extent. The shirt had come to be her favourite - and he knew he would never wear it again because she had claimed it as her own.

The shirt fluttered slightly in the wind as she remembered why it had been placed there in the first place. After coming home from Sookie's that morning and after hiding from him. She simply slipped on the shirt willing it to give her the comfort that she so desperately craved. It had- for a short amount of time... until she had spilt her coffee on it. She quickly rinsed it in the sink, before hanging it on the railing wanting it to be dry for her to wear tonight.

She couldn't take it anymore... she had to get out... she had to get away from this place, this house, this town.

She wiped furiously at the tears that tried to escape and headed towards her jeep.

_I don't like who I've become_

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a knock on his door. Rising from the couch, he went to answer it as he wondered who it was that was calling by so late. He opened the door to a develished looking Lorelai. Her eyes were red and puffy- and her clothing was rumpled, obviously from the drive from Stars hollow to Boston. Momentary panic stuck him as he wondered all the possibilities that would bring her to his door. Was it Rory? Or perhaps Emily and Richard. All the questions came to a halt when he realised that he would not be the first person she would turn to if that was the case.

Lorelai didn't break down at the sight of Christopher, instead she simply stated - her voice dry from crying- "hey."

"hey." he replied.

"I had a really crappy night. I just need someone to talk to." She stated more than she asked.

He immediately moved aside to allow his friend to enter the apartment. Knowing that his supply of Tequila was about to be seriously diminished.

"Daddy?" she heard the little voice speak.

Her mind instantly reeled, revelling in the dream that was about to play in her head. the one where the little voice continued to ask her father all sorts of inquisitive questions which would proceed to stump Luke with thoughts like 'where the hell do all these questions come from' and 'how the hell did I get a daughter that is so smart she can even stump me?' and Lorelai would sit at the counter of the diner and giggle as Luke would proceed to get flustered and try to answer their daughters questions. The favourite of Lorelai's among them being the 'where do baby's come from?' which produced the usually so callous and abrupt man to blush and act all shy before answering her with a simple "from the stork"

But the dream didn't play. Instead her eyes stayed dark as she realised that she was, infact, awake but had not opened her eyes. She heard the little voice again asking

"Who's that?"

It wasn't until she heard the familiar voice answer his daughter "that's your Aunty Lorelai." that she realised where she was. And why the sheets she had wrapped herself in through the night felt so unfamiliar.

"Ssshhh, lets not wake her" he continued as Lorelai preyed to the lord that she was not naked under the sheets... a quick gesture with her arms told her that she wasn't and relief flooded through her veins. But why was she here? In this strange apartment in Christopher's bed? Realisation dawned on her when she recalled what had transpired last night. The break-up. The fight. The tears, the tequila and she vaguely remembered having Christopher put her to bed, whilst mumbling something about him taking the couch... she hoped.

She quickly got up out of bed ignoring the pounding in her head and made her way out to his living room.

the rumpled sheets and a pyjama clad Christopher were enough to reassure her that he had indeed slept on the couch and she released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Morning Sunshine..." he stated when he noticed her in the doorway.

"Hey" she replied - finding her voice a bit gravely as she realised her throat was insanely dry.

"Feeling any better' he asked friendly

"Mmm... I don't think so. As good of an idea it seems at the time - Tequila sure doesn't help the next day."

He laughed; glad to see that she had at least been feeling well enough to crack a joke.

"Ya, well... they should put that on the bottle." he quipped back.

"Listen, Chris... I just want to thankyou for listening to me last night. And giving me a place to sleep. I really didn't mean to kick you out of your bed." she indicated to the couch that was covered in sheets.

"Na, its okay. It's actually good for me to sleep on the couch every once and a while. Reminds me of why I don't do it more often."

She laughed briefly but the smile did not reach her eyes.

"Hey, he asked. Walking over to her "you gonna be okay?"

"Maybe... just not right now. I really need to get home. Thanks again."

"Okay... you call me if you need anything, day or night. Just call"

Okay. Thanks"

"Your welcome"

The drive home seemed to fly by. As she turned into Stars Hollow she willed herself not to look as she passed the diner, willing herself not to look back she drove into the driveway, exited the car and went up the porch steps. Her hand rested on the doorknob and she found that she didn't yet have the courage to enter. Instead she made her way over to the swing once more and laid her head down on the soft pillow.

She awoke what seemed like minutes later. Not being one to wear a watch, she had no idea of the time, only that it was early and she had fallen asleep on the porch swing in an uncomfortable position, as her neck was killing her.

The sound of his Truck coming up the driveway woke her from her fitful slumber. Lorelai had almost forgotten the events of the previous night, and felt the surge of love and devotion she usually felt when he arrived home. However, the pain in her neck reminded her of where she had slept last night, and why it was that she had somehow cried herself into exhaustion, and the feeling burned more that it felt good. She sat up and watched as he got out of his truck, noticing how incredibly full the tray was, and focused on his face as he walked up the path. He had a look of determination on it as well as the feint signs of sleeplessness, as if he had been up all night.

And indeed, he had. Sometime in the ten minutes after she had walked away from him, he had been struck with the ability to finally make a move. He got into his truck and began the quick drive to her place. Her place... he backtracked his thoughts and sighed. Since when did he return to calling it 'her place'? Wasn't it 'their place' wasn't that the idea of living together?

"But you haven't been, you fool" his mind answered, truthfully. Seriously, when was the last night he had spent there? Not last night, because April was at the diner till late, not the night before, because Anna had asked him to Woodbridge for dinner. And not the night before that, as he had closed up late at the diner, and thought the idea of waking her was preposterous, especially since he had his old place right above the diner. He sighed as he realised that she had been right. He had been shutting her out, forgetting that, as partners, they were in this together. Those were the words he had used when he convinced her to open up and talk to him about all her Rory problems. He wanted to help; he needed to be let into her mindset, to understand what she was feeling to help her deal with it. He had pestered her about it, even got into an argument with her about it, and he specifically remembered himself ranting on and on about how- "she had to let him in" and "help her deal" with the situation. And it wasn't until this fight, that had sent them basically yelling at each other for her to finally cave. He remembered how she had broken down in his arms, babbling on about how she was a terrible mother, and that she couldn't handle it. He had simply stroked her back and kissed her forehead as he listened to her words, glad that she had finally let go of all this pent up sadness, confusion and frustration. He had made her promise that from that moment on, she had to talk about her feelings- even if it hurt. He had made her promise. Then he had gone and done the exact thing that he had gotten mad at her for doing. He had shut her out- feeling the need to deal with this on his own. Hell, he lied to her for months about April- Not telling her about anything. Shutting her down when she made a suggestion or spoke about how HE should talk to her about it. He was convinced that this was what he had to do. He had to deal with this situation on his own, not realising how his actions had slowly broken the woman he loved.

He sighed as he remembered her great suggestion for a birthday present, and how he had completely dismissed the idea, and how harsh he had spoken to her. But she had bought her a different gift, one that she had LOVED, purely to save him from embarrassment. He should have felt offended when April had unravelled her gift, but he didn't, he felt so grateful for the woman beside him, he almost forgot about how he had crushed her heart by postponing the wedding.

He remembered their conversation in the vineyard, how she had voiced her feelings to him about their impending nuptials. Or the fear of them not becoming impending, as it were. What had he done then? Saying that he loved her and that they were having lobster at their wedding? What the hell was that? He needed to SHOW her how he felt. To show her how much he needed her in his life. He should have dragged out his calendar and pointed at a specific day and said "then… That's when we are getting married" but he didn't…. he said the 'Love' and the "lobster' thing… but that was not enough. Why else would she have told him that he needed to tell her he loved her more often?_ 'Because you haven't been saying it enough'_ the little voice inside his head answered. that was the last straw... he had to PROVE his love for her, had to show her that he was ALL in and that he could be who she wanted him to be.. He hoisted the truck around and began thinking to himself what kinds of things do you need to bring to get married? _'Screw it'_ he thought... _'Ill just pack it all'._

Which is exactly what he did? He packed the truck well into the night thinking of all the places that they could go to get married. Places that Lorelai AND Rory would like, as they would no doubt be stopping at Yale to pick up his soon-to-be step daughter... That was the one request she had made when the elopement talk had ensued before. Then he thought that they could pick up April on the way as well... so that both of their daughters could be included in their marriage. Maybe they could use this excuse as the ice-breaker into Lorelai and April's new Step-mother/Step-Daughter relationship.

So he packed for four, and when the sun had risen, he rang around to a few places (thank god for 24-hour reception staff) to see what was available. Grinning all the while.

His heart stopped however, when he approached her that morning she was still in the dress and sweater he had seen on her the night before and all around her eyes were puffy and red, as if she had been crying all night. He quickly pushed that thought from his mind as he knew that the knowledge that he had caused those tears was too much to bear. He reached out to take her hand in his and said;

"Let's Go."

Lorelai, startled with the tone of his voice pulled her hands out of reach, ignoring the pained look on his face as she did so, and replied

"Go? Go where?"

"Anywhere. Lets get married..." Luke said in one breath, terrified of her reaction, which remained unreadable.

"But... Last Night..."" She looked up at him with new tears forming in her eyes.

"I know what I said last night, but I was wrong. You were right. You were right about everything. I need to think quicker, I need to react sooner. We need to do this. I'm ready now... I've always been ready." Luke answered quietly afraid that she would turn on her heel and leave him in pieces on the porch. He deserved that, but he wouldn't be able to go on living if it came to that.

"What about April." she Asked quietly, remembering the reasoning he gave her last night about why he couldn't jump.

"You were right about that too. I haven't been fair. It wasn't right for me to use her as an excuse, and it wasn't right for me to have kept her from you for so long, only to expect you to drop everything when I needed help. You should have been there; I should have told you about her, from the start, you should have been getting to know her with me, helping me, guiding me. Because I need it. Your light, your guidance, your love. Most of all I need your love." he was rambling on now, as was his custom when he needed to get something off his chest.

"Luke..." she tried to interject.

"No, just let me finish" he Stopped her. "I Love you. And I know i've been a bad Fiancé", don't deny it, I have. But Im here now. You have all of me now, and we should leave today and get married, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Lorelai. And I will say it every day, a thousand times just to prove to you that i'm in this. All in." He breathed, waiting for her to respond, to reply to him...

"I'm sorry." She said, barely above a whisper.

"What?" he asked, unable to hear her whispered apology. Lorelai Sniffed and cleared her throat as fresh tears formed in her eyes.

"I'm Sorry." she repeated louder this time. "I'm Sorry Luke, but I can't."

"Cant...?" he started, not believing what he was hearing.

"I can't do this anymore. This hurt thing, it kills me every time. Then you try to make it better, and everything is okay for a while, then it goes back, exactly the way it was before, only this time it hurts so much more. I can't take it any more. I'm Sorry." Lorelai was unable to hold back the tears now as they ran freely down her face. It was killing him to hear these words coming from her mouth, but it was killing him more to know that he was the reason she was hurting.

"But... " He gasped, unable to move. "I Love you." His own eyes began to fog slightly as he declared his love.

"And I love you. More than you could possibly ever know." She stated, quite calmly, despite the vast amount of tears falling over her cheeks.

"But sometimes, Love just isn't enough." she swiped at her tears, willing them to go away, as she watched his face fall further. The look on it, breaking her heart so much that she just wanted to take back what she had said and fall into his arms.

"I Tried calling you last night… where were you?" He begged.

"I was at Christopher's." She stated simply. Not alluding to the fact that she had indeed stayed the night at Christopher's, but not in the way he evidently thought as the look of hurt on his face became angry. She wanted to tell him that it was innocent, that while she had slept in Christopher's bed, he had not. But a part of her wanted him to think that she had hurt him. She knew it was selfish and pathetic, but at that moment she wanted nothing more than to hurt him like he had hurt her.

The look on his face was proof enough that he didn't trust her.

She wanted to throw herself into his arms and feel him kiss her lips once more, assuring him that she loved him, but instead she took one last look before turning away, catching his eyes briefly, and went inside.

In those brief seconds, her mind Flashed through everything she had ever dreamed of. . Love, Comfort, Safety... they were all just words now. The sentiments behind them shattered as she thought now of what she wouldnt have. The kids that she so desperately wanted... Gone. The man she loved more than anything- Gone. Her middle, her perfect middle with the Clichéd "Love you forever, white picket fence with the 2.3 kids, grow old together" middle- Gone. Luke, her Luke, her coffee god, her best friend, her grump, her sweet, caring, adoring Luke- Gone.

She heard his truck start up in the driveway and reverse out. Only then, when she was behind the door did she allow her knees to give way and her body wrack with sobs as she leaned against the door for support.

_Cos i'm feeling lost_

_Laying numb in your arms_

_The reasons are gone_

_For why I was holding on to you_

_I've tried so hard, to be the one_

_I don't like who I've Become_

Well? Thoughts? Please give me feedback!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to say a quick thankyou to all who read and reviewed my first chapter. It has been a long time coming and I did put a fair bit of effort into it, so it was nice to get some feedback on it. Many of you had asked for me to make the story happier (well you commented on how sad it was anywho) but I feel that for things to get better they have to hit an all time low. So be prepared for a few more angst-y chapters, bearing in mind that I promise to make things better. My idea is to make Lorelai grieve a little as I feel that she wasn't sad enough on the show with the break-up of her relationship with Luke. And also how fast she hopped into the Chris relationship too! Well I can guarantee that there will be no relationship between L and C (except for a little friendship) because I am an avid L and L Supporter! So anyways… please read and enjoy Chapter 2.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

**Chapter 2**

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Luke sat quietly in the cab of his olive green truck and stared at his hands. One of them, his right one- was protesting slightly in pain as the other massaged it, trying to sooth the dull throbbing there. Luke had never been a violent man. Sure, he could have been - if he had wanted to. He had the build and the strength and he even had the temper of a man who would regularly start brawls in pubs just because he could. But Years of living with his father had taught him patience. Understanding. And a need to be civil around others- even those who didn't deserve it. All this had gone out the window; however, when he found out his Fiancé had slept with another man. The one man she knew he could not forgive her for going to. The one man who had always been a sore spot in their relationship - ever since her parents vow renewal and his declarations of how Luke was the "for now" guy, and that _he_ belonged with Lorelai.

Well, now she had proven him right. That Luke was indeed the "for now" guy and now was over. She had run to him. She had gone to Christopher and she had been unfaithful. The thought of them together was enough to make his stomach churn with rage, sickness and a little bit of guilt. The Former- he had just now acted apon as he had made his way into Christopher's apartment and punched the smirk right off his face.

The latter, he pushed aside telling himself that he was not the guilty party in all of this, they were. And it was only the small comfort offered just seconds ago when he had punched the jackass's lights out.

Well... punched him none the less - Luke had not stuck around long enough to know whether Chris had lost consciousness. At least life could grant him one little favour that he had been home. And that he had simply opened the door willingly. Something told Luke that if he were ever to sleep with another mans fiancé, he would be weary of who he opened his door to. Luke was yet again hit in the gut by his thoughts as the whole thing dawned on him.

Lorelai had been unfaithful.

His defences crumpled at this thought as he caught his breath in a few heavy sobs. His world was crumbling down around him as he willed the tears away. Any hope he had of their future he had become accustomed to dream was gone. The house, the life, the kids that 'would be good'- gone. All of them pulled out from underneath him like a blanket that caused him to roll off. He would not cry over her. She had been the one to undo their relationship. The one to kick them while they were down. For the first time in an incredibly long time. All Luke wanted to do was cry.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Hey Sook? Is there Coffee?" Lorelai called to her friend as she entered the kitchen.

"Just made a fresh pot." Sookie's voice emanated from the store cupboard.

"Thank God!" Lorelai responded cheerfully as she grabbed her mug and filled it to the brim. She hesitated slightly though when she felt the pleasant aroma, that usually calmed and soothed her, made her heart lurch and stomach churn. What had happened? Was her Friend doing something with the coffee to make her feel bad? Surely not. Maybe it was because she hadn't had a decent cup in a few days and was having her usual withdrawal symptoms. Maybe the recipe had been changed to make this batch slightly bitter, or maybe the filter needed to be changed. Or maybe it was simply because Coffee made her think of him.

She didn't have long to ponder this thought, as her friend emerged from the store-room with her arms full of boxes and bags and containers. Clearly she was having one of her "Sookie" days and decided against making two trips to the cupboard, even though she probably should have. Lorelai set her coffee on the counter and rushed to her side, taking two of the boxes from her friend.

"Whoa there, Sook... what's going on?"

"Oh, well... you know. The Webber-Mansfield Wedding tomorrow? They called this morning and asked if we could make the cake. you 'know... co apparently, it only takes one day to plan and prepare a four tiered wedding cake and even though they turned down the initial offer of me making their cake, they Thought 'Hey, we're getting married tomorrow... maybe we should have cake.' "

"Whoa Sook... calm down."

"Calm Down? Calm Down? "Sookie asked sceptically as she was on the edge of hyperventilating.

"She faxed me over a design she wants for the cake and it has two _hundred_ tiny little marzipan roses on the top. As well as the Double whipped frosting and piping and layer and layers of delectable chocolate cake, which in normal circumstances start trialling _Weeks_ in advanced... and they want it for Tomorrow!" Sookie began to Thrash and breathe heavily... and as much as Lorelai needed some comfort of her own right now, her best friend seemed to need it more.

"Hey Sook... It'll be ok. You are the most gifted Chef on the east coats... and I'm Positive you can do this. We'll just get Manny to cover the lunch shift today, and Pete to cover dinner and you can work on the cake."

"I Am?" Sookie asked disbelievingly.

"Come on Sook... you know you are. Plus... think of it this way... we now get to charge them that extra fifteen percent for making us do this!"

"Yeah... I guess your right. Now did you have anything you wanted to talk about?"

"Huh? No... What made you say that?"

"Well, I just thought if i'm gonna be stuck here making cake, and you've got a mountain of paperwork... so I thought we'd get anything out of the way now. And...Well before when you came in, you looked kinda bummed."

"I'm Surprised you could see me over the mountain of ingredients you had there."

"Lorelai..." Sookie said, warningly, but worried about her friend.

"No Sookie... everything is fine. Now, get cracking, you've got a cake to make, and I've got bills to pay!"

And with that, Lorelai scamped out of the kitchen, leaving a bewildered Sookie in her wake. Sookie sighed as she watched her friend saunter out of the room. She recalled how her face had fallen when she questioned her well-being, and despite being her usual bright and sunny Lorelai, she had lost that sparkle in her eye that made her who she was. The humour was just a facade, a well known one to Sookie, who had seen Lorelai build walls up around her heart before. She suddenly spied Lorelai's un-touched coffee on the counter, and she sighed once again. Something was most definitely up...

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai Speaking." Lorelai answered her office phone in her usual happy manner.

""Hey MOM"

"Well if it isn't my favourite daughter..." Lorelai smiled genuinely as she heard the voice of her favourite person in the world. "What can I do for my beautiful offspring?"

"I was wondering whether you would mind me coming home today... For the summer."

"The summer? I thought you were gonna Stay at Yale and do your Stanford Job from there... less commuter time."

"I was... but I don't really like having this place to myself." Rory's sad voice made Lorelai's heart swell with sympathy for her daughter.

"Awe Hon, Logan left?"

"This morning... and I had promised myself that I wouldn't be one of those sobby cliché girls from the movies, but when he left, I became the very thing I didn't want to become... so i'm bummed."

"Well of course you can come home... my daughter is always welcome in my home."

"I just didn't wanna ruin any plans you and Luke might have had for the summer."

Lorelai's Heart Panged as she heard her daughter mention his name. She thought of telling her about the events of the morning, but dismissed it, as she was not certain she could hold it together over the phone. So instead she replied, simply;

"No, No plans."

"You sure?" Rory sounded hopeful

"Of course i'm sure! We can stay up late and pig out on junk food, and hey, if you're up for some extra cash I could really use some help with this wedding at the inn tomorrow"

You know i'm always up for extra cash."

"Good, Cos this chick is a real winner..."

"Bridezilla?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!"

"Sure... sounds good... ill see you this afternoon."

"Goodbye my favourite offspring" Lorelai chippered into the phone, knowing that sooner or later, she would have to spill the beans on what had transpired not 5 hours ago.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Rory entered the Crap Shack later that day only to find the downstairs dark and empty. The sun had not quite set yet, but the evening shadows had settled in over stars hollow and the Gilmore living room seemed dark and foreboding. Rory quietly made her way into the kitchen only to find it in the same state of the living room. Which was odd. On a usual afternoon in Stars Hollow her other would be kicking back in the living room with freshly brewed coffee and some bad TV show Blaring in the background, but the house was so unlike normal that Rory had to look outside once more to confirm that it was her mothers jeep in the driveway and she hadn't just imagined it.

In the hallway, where Rory now stood the Answering machine light flickered with new messages, which was also odd, seeing as it was customary for the Gilmore's to listen to the messages first thing before walking in the door.

Rory sighed as she realised that her mom was most probably at Luke's and stifled a giggle at her apparent inability to lock a door. Rory began to head for the door, with the intent to go and surprise her mom at Luke's, when she heard an indistinguishable noise from upstairs. Almost like a thump, then an almost inaudible curse that was unmistakably her mother.

"MOM?" Rory called up the stairs.

"Rory?" came the reply.

Whatever stunt her mother was pulling, nothing could prepare Rory for the sight she met when she reached her mothers room.

"Do I like this?"

"Mom?" Rory questioned. As she looked around, Rory met an astonishing sight. Lorelai was seated on the floor surrounded by boxes that were piled high with clothes. Clothes were also piled up around her on the floor, on the bed, spewing out of the hamper and the door to the closet was jammed open with a pile of clothes that Rory hadn't seen her mom wear in years.

"What are you doing?" Rory asked, afraid of the answer. Lorelai, however, just continued to ramble on.

"I Mean, I must have liked it at some point, I mean... I bought it- so that says that I must have tried it on and thought it was cute, at some point distant Past... but do I like it now?" She looked up at her daughter through the glosses that sat on her nose and masked the red in her eyes.

"Uh... Sure you liked it. You said that the blue matched your eyes and Luke said it complimented your... how should I put this... ASSets." Rory divulged, ever the diligent daughter.

"Mmm... that's what I thought." Lorelai spouted offhand, as if she were talking to herself as she tossed the dress into a box that Rory could now see was labelled 'Throw Out'. she Noticed three more like it, two were sealed already with the words 'throw out' on the side, suggesting that they were already full the other was simply marked 'keep' and Rory noted that this box was hardly full of anything.

"Ok, so I repeat... what are you doing? Aside from just determining to 'throw out' a perfectly good dress that your fiancé loves on you."

"Don't say that." Lorelai quickly. He voice slightly less chipper that it had bee a second ago during her rambling.

"Mom? What are you doing?" Rory bent down and sat next to her mother.

"I'm... Lorelai faltered "I'm Cleaning" she answered abruptly as she began to close the folds over on the now full 'throw out' box.

"You don't clean" Rory simply stated.

Lorelai stared distantly off, as though remembering something; she quickly shook her head, stopping the tears before they had a chance. Then continued to tape up the box of clothes in front of her.

"Well there's a first time for everything."

"Mom... Rory asked softly. "What's wrong? Did you and Luke have a thing?""

"No Rory, me and Luke did not have a thing. We just broke up, is all."

"What???" Rory shouted. Indignantly. "What? Why? "

"Jeeze... Calm down... it's not that big of a deal."

"What do you mean not that big a deal? Last time you broke up with Luke you were bed ridden for days."

"Exactly. LAST TIME. As in, I should have known... if I break up with a guy once... it's bound to happen again. I mean just look at my history of getting back together with guys I've broken up with. Max, Christopher. Michael Martin in fifth grade... and now Luke."

"But mom... Luke just isn't some guy. He's your fiancé...!"

"Was, was my fiancé" Lorelai corrected her daughter as she got up to leave the room. Rory followed, determined to make her mother talk.

She followed Lorelai down the stairs and into the darkened living room and through the hall toward the kitchen.

"What happened?" Rory asked timidly.

"Nothing... we just weren't meant to be is all" Lorelai began to fiddle with the coffee maker and pulled the jug out of the maker, probably harder than she should have. It fell to the floor and Lorelai let out a frustrated sigh as she picked it up and

"But mom..."

"Don't 'but mom' me ok... I don't wanna talk about it, I dont wanna deal with it...I don't wanna fall apart and cry and scream 'Why doesn't he love me' i'm not twelve for god sakes! I don't wanna talk about it... I just wanna make some friggin coffee!" She said with rising temper as she forced the coffee pot into the machine on her last word, causing it to hit the edge of the counter and smash in her hand. Lorelai winced as the sound of smashing glass resinated in her head. Felt the pain as the shards of glass sliced her hand and sighed in frustration as her daughter calmly and silently began to plodder around her cleaning up the mess that she had made.

Lorelai had to laugh at the irony- in fact, if she wasn't so upset she would have burst out into hysterical laughter at the thought of something so REAL so definite so necessary for her to live had just shattered in her hands. And she had let it. She had caused it. Her main source of comfort had gone, along with the person it had symbolised. Luke was her coffee... he was the reason she got up in the morning- the reason it had tasted so good for all these years was because HE had made it, had poured it, had snarled and grumped about it for so long while both of them harboured their secret desires for one another. Her love for him was endless, yet it had been pushed to the limits, just like the coffee pot. She had forced it. And when it didn't move into position the first time she forced it again- causing it to fall apart. Just as she had forced Luke. Her memory flashed back to her desperate ultimatum the night before and realised that she had pushed him too far. No wonder he did not want to marry her. Lorelai's eyes brimmed with tears, not giving her the satisfaction of having them spill over her lashes, she held them at bay. And looked at her daughter who was scurrying around the kitchen cleaning up the glass.

"I'm sorry." she whispered to Rory.

"It's Okay." Rory, ever the diligent daughter had cleaned up the glass and was now leading her broken-hearted mother to the living room, where most of the stuff was in boxes and sat her down on the couch.

Lorelai sat herself down and felt the comfort of her daughters arms around her. She allowed herself to sink into her embrace and cry.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The day ahead bore a resemblance to a promising day.

And as the two guests stood beneath the arch of yellow rosebuds and vowed their love and devotion to each other the guests cheered and clapped as they sealed it with a kiss. The bride was glowing and it was hard to imagine that such an angelic looking woman had put her through hell for the past 2 months. Bridezilla tendances aside, the wedding went off without a hitch. Lorelai watched her daughter manoeuvring herself around tables, looking at seating charts and directing guests to their allocated spots and she surged with pride as she handled families feuding over who gets to sit next to whom and so on, with politeness and ease. Reminding herself to remember to put Rory on table duty around the Gilmore's at her own wedding. She then stopped in her tracks. Her own wedding? When exactly would that be? She asked herself.

"Well, never, now" she thought to herself, Bitter disgust and self loathing apparent in even the voice in her head. "You lied to him. You made him think that you cheated. You may as well have done so because that's what he thinks." it screamed again.

The truth was- she hadn't lied. She hadn't told the truth either. Luke had assumed that because she wasn't there, and she was at Christopher's, that she had cheated on him. Only hours after her declaration of love.

So why hadn't he come after her? Why had he just stood there and watched her walk away?

"Because he doesn't need you" he mind reminded her. "Because he doesn't trust you with his daughter" "Because he doesn't love you." her eyes became all misty and teary as she watched the bride and groom in their first dance as husband and wife. They looked so happy and in love twirling around on the out door dance floor.

She watched as the father of the bride swiftly cut in gracefully and began dancing with his daughter as the groom went to her mother and asked if he could have this dance. She heard the bride squeal like a little girl in sheer delight as they moved around gently swaying to the music.

Her eyes clouded over as the tears began to pool. She quietly excused herself from Michel, who had been too busy staring also at the wedding party making snide remarks about the Mother of the bride's supposedly knock-off Givenchy dress. ("Vell, if zay are not going to be bozzered to pay for ze real thing on 'er daughters vedding...") and made her way inside through the back door.

She needed a place to be quiet and alone. the Kitchen was fairly slow, with all the servers and cooks being outside- but there was still the chance of being interrupted as they made their way in and out of the inn, fetching supplies and whatnot- Lorelai supposed she could have gone into her office... but it was too far, and she felt as thought she was going to break any second.

She spotted the closed door of the walk in pantry that Sookie had insisted on when renovating the inn, and found herself very grateful for her friends need of organisation in her food storage as she made her way into the pantry, shut the door and sank to the cold hard stone floor sobbing into her hands.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Sometime later, Sookie went looking for her missing friend and opened the door to the pantry finding her on the floor.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Sookie asked as she saw her friend sitting on the concrete of the storeroom the tears flowing down her face.

"Nothing, it was just a very moving ceremony... that's all." Lorelai replied, trying not to give anything away... but Sookie knew better than to just let this go.

"No Lorelai! This is not nothing... You've been quietly shutting me out for the last week now... I figured you just needed some space, and that you would talk to me when you were ready... but you clearly need to talk to someone NOW!" Sookie sat down beside her friend on the floor.

Lorelai looked down, sadly at her left hand. The georgeous ring that Luke had picked out for her, the one she hadn't had the chance, or the heart, to remove yet, still shone brightly as it had the day he gave it to her. A sad smile crossed her face as she remembered that night; almost seven months ago now- too bad their relationship did not share the same sparkle anymore. Another tear trickled down her cheek as she whispered to her friend;

""Its Not gonna happen."

"What? The wedding? Oh Honey, it'll be okay... Luke will come around soon."

"No." Lorelai interjected suddenly, louder that she had intended. "No he won't Sookie. I... We- Luke and I, were not Luke and I anymore."

"What? No..."

"I broke it off."

"Why?"

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the hurt anymore. He slowly shutting me out of his life was too much for me to bare."

"Is that why you needed to stay at my place the other night?" Sookie asked tentatively.

"Yeah, I had just Realised that I had been kidding myself with all of this, and that I was just sitting back and watching my life fall apart. And my mother..."

"Oh No..." Interjected Sookie when Emily Gilmore got involved, it was not going to turn out well.

"No... Nothing like that. She needed someone to drive her around because of her eye surgery, so I spent the day with her... and late in the evening she took me to a realtor's office and started asking me all of these questions about this house she and dad had been looking at in the area."

"That's why you were so paranoid about the whole Kirk real estate thing... having your parents closer... Yikes."

"Well that's what I thought too... but it turns out, they weren't looking at the house for them... they were looking at it for us. Me and Luke... as a wedding present."

"Oh my, that's so sweet."

"I Know... and this house, Sookie. It was gorgeous. Little Porch and big grounds with room for horses, like i've always wanted, and a little lake, for Luke to fish in, and little shutters on all the windows, and Room for Kids, my mother not-so-subtly pointed out. It Was PERFECT. And I just stood there... in awe of how my mother and father had openly displayed their genuine feelings about me and Luke... their Blessing, and I simply realised that it was all going to go to waste. That we were never gonna get married and that we would never have those kids or horses or house with the little shutters, and I just lost it. I sat in the realtor's office and balled my eyes out to my mother." A Fresh wave of tears struck Lorelai again as her previously silent sobs turned into gaping cries. Sookie just sat there, laying her hands on her friends back, soothing her with gently motions as Lorelai breathed in and continued.

"So I just left, and I didn't want to go home to an empty house, so I went to yours. And then there was stupid Friday night Dinner theatre with Chris and the Psychiatrist..."

"Chris..." Sookie Interjected in confusion at the mention of her ex-s name.

"Yeah, she wanted to set Chris up with Lynnie, the shrink… but they were clearly not each others type, but as we were leaving she asked me to talk to her about what was bothering me and the whole thing just started coming out. I mean, I was sitting there, in the back of her shiny silver car going on and on about Luke and how we met, and how long it had taken us to get that far, and she told me, she told me that if I really wanted this to happen I had to speak up. I had to ask for it. and she said the scariest thing, she said that maybe I was feeling like this, maybe we were this way and it had taken this long, maybe were weren't meant to be. And that it didn't sound to her like he was 'all in' as he claimed to be… and I freaked. I didn't want her to be right… so I went to Luke's, and I started going on and on about marriage and how we should elope, right then and there, and how I couldn't wait anymore, and how this whole thing with April and Anna was making me feel.. And he just stood there. He stood there and looked at me like I was crazy! And I mean, I was… but he didn't have to just stand there… and he said that he couldn't just drop everything and go then, which I understand… but he made it seem as if he was never going to be ready… and I walked away. I shouldn't have walked away, but I did."

All Through Lorelai's Rant, Sookie's Heart was breaking for her best friend. Tears filled her own eyes as she listened to Lorelai's heart-breaking tale... and wondered what on earth could be done to fix this.

"...And then... he came over yesterday and..."

"And?" Sookie urged softly when Lorelai had stopped, her heart in her throat.

"And, he said he was ready then. that we should go and get married, right then and there... and his truck was full of stuff, so much stuff and he said he Loved me and that we needed to be together and how he was wrong and I was right... and I just stood there this time... I just got so mad, thinking... well what happened about the whole 'I can't just drop everything' and I thought about all the hurt I felt these past few months, and I said no... And I told him we were over and that we could never get married... and, and..."

"And what sweetie?" Sookie asked carefully stroking her best friends back and hair softly, begging for her to open up to her.

"He thinks I slept with Chris..." Lorelai cut off and fell into Sookie's waiting embrace

"Why in gods name would he think that?" Sookie suddenly demanded angrily, well as angrily as Sookie could get.

"Because I told him that after we had out fight... I went to Christopher's place..."

"Oh, no honey... you didn't?" Sookie asked softly.

"NO!" Lorelai declared... "No I could never... Luke just thought that's what I meant when I said I had been at Christopher's and I didn't feel the need to correct him."

"Honey, you need to tell him that." Sookie urged, pained that her friend was going through all of this based upon an assumption.

"No, if he doesn't believe me, or trust me... then its over, Sookie it has to be."

Sookie said nothing and simply put her arms around her sobbing friend.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

**Ok Guys… I need your honest opinions now! This chapter was a little difficult because I absolutely suck at writing about Luke's feelings; because- lets face it… he's a bit of a closed book when it comes to them! LOL!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well guys, another week- another chapter! I must admit that this one is considerable shorter than the last two… but oh well. You'll deal, right? Anyways… thanks for the reviews so far! And I also want to promise that Luke and Lorelai will eventually sort through all of this mess and begin to move forward- I just needed a few initial chapters to se the scene. So here is chapter 3---**

**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**

The diner was bustling with activity. The lunch rush had well and truly decided to continue through till dinner, leaving Luke by the stove for the majority of the day. Luke was just gonna sit up in his apartment and brood, (under the guise of "paperwork" ) But Caesar had called to say he was caught running errands and would be late for his shift and the diner was busy, and keeping busy himself distracted him from thinking about Lorelai. Well... so he told himself.

Lane could tell something was wrong. She didn't know how she could, just that working with Luke over the past 3 years had given her a sixth sense about the state of her employer's emotions. And his behaviour was somewhat familiar to the time when he and Lorelai were fighting. That was worrying to Lane. Had they fought? Well, of course they had fought. Eileen Whitewin and Becky Bittenburg had over heard the fight while Becky was shoving Devil dogs in her mouth, and the entire town heard about it. no - one knew however what had happened after - it was almost as if the town gossips had gone on sabbatical and stopped butting into other peoples lives, which- could be a good thing... but it didn't help when Lane was so worried about what was ailing her employer and friend.

So when Kirk Gleason came running into the diner just before the dinner rush, exclaming that he 'had big news' Lane thought that she would soon find out what was ailing her employer. To her dismay, the News that Kirk proceeded to share with the group was not that of Luke and Lorelai's relationship status (and yes, he would be the one to go into the diner where one of them works and make a general announcement regarding Luke even if Luke himself was standing there) but he stood on the table nearest to the door and cupped his hands over his mouth

"Can I have everybody's attention, please?!"

Luke, who had heard the commotion when Kirk had struggled to stand on the table, had ran out from the kitchen and stared at Kirk, the vein in his forehead pulsulating furiously.

"Kirk! Get off my table!" he said shortly.

"But Luke..." Kirk Whined, looking pained.

"No Buts, Kirk People have to eat off of these" Luke Grumbled as he tried to persuade Kirk down from the tables.

"But Luke... I did it. I took your advice. I finally gave Lulu the commitment that she's been wanting!" Luke continued to try and get Kirk off the tables. While Luke had a vague recollection of calling Kirk a Pinhead and telling him he should be kissing the ground that Lulu walked on, he did not realise that Kirk had taken it to meaning he had to DO something about it.

"What? You told her you were moving out of your mothers so you could have a REAL adult relationship?" Luke Grumbled once more. Imagining the look on Mrs Gleason's face when he told her.

"No Luke, I asked her to marry me." Kirk said panting. Luke dropped his hold on Kirk's shirt and stared at him while the entire diner went silent.

"We are getting married in a month."

Luke was the first to speak after a period of silence.

"Well, well for you Kirk. I hope you two are happy together." He said, almost as if some alien life form had hacked into his brain and was forcing words into his mouth. Detached, Luke Quickly looked up and saw Caesar re-enter the diner, apparently back from whatever Errand it was that took him an hour. Luke quickly moved the curtain that covered the stairs and slipped behind it, listening to patty and Babbette's cat calls and asking him about how he did 'it'

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"So, When are you gonna want to talk about it?" Rory sidled up to her mother in the living room of the crap shack as she was separating her things into three piles - "Luke things" - "Things that remind me of Luke" and "babbette's intimates"

Rather than Question her mother on the behaviour she was displaying, she thought she would go to the source. So far, Lorelai had dodged all of her questions maintaining the fact that she was busy with the wedding at the inn, but now that the wedding was over, and Lorelai was out and out categorizing her things in the living room, Rory thought that now may be the time for a chat. THE chat. But as always, Lorelai's stubborn refusal to let the world know that anything bothers her was put to the test as she continued sorting through Luke's things, trying ever-so-hard not to show any sign of emotion.

"There's nothing to talk about." Lorelai said with a stony forcedness.

"I know," Rory answered casually. I know there is nothing to talk about. I know you said that there is nothing to talk about and that I should drop it."

"Well then would you?" Lorelai asked - exasperated as Rory slid onto the couch, clearly intending on settling in and bugging Lorelai relentlessly until she caved

"Sure, ill drop it. Cos I mean- you don't need a reason. To suddenly break up with your Fiancé that you love so much. The man who supported you through thick and thin the last ten years or so, your soul mate. Your best friend. "The one" as you had so eloquently put it on more than one occasion."

"Do you have a point?" Lorelai said getting frustrated while trying to keep it together for her daughter.

"Yeah, of course... I mean there is no need to feel pressured into talking about feelings and whatnot... that's what Oprah is for."

"Yeah, Right- said Lorelai distractedly.

"But, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel the need to talk at all! I mean- you usually talk so much about everything I usually have to tell you to stop - you know, distract you with a box of mallowmars or something..."

"Rory..." Lorelai threatened warningly.

"All imp saying, or trying to say is- Is if you need to talk. About Luke or Anything... I'm here Mom." Rory finished, preying that her mother would not be mad at her for pushing the subject.

Lorelai simply sighed. She knew that she couldn't hide anything from her daughter- especially something like the need to vent. She sighed as she remembered all the times she had urged her daughter to speak out and talk to her about all of her problems, but remembered that she was the mother, Rory was the kid... her problems should be about finals, and boyfriends, and getting into grad schools and jobs... not her mothers Love life.

She sighed once more, realising that it had never been that way with them. That everything in their world was fair game to the other, and they shared more than just a surname and an uncanny ability to drink vast amounts of coffee...

Her daughter looked at her expectantly and Lorelai was suddenly aware of how venerable she felt. It was one thing for her relationships to break up when she was a single mom looking out for her kid above all else, but now that kid is grown, and Lorelai's ideal dream was now to settle down and maybe have another id. Her happiness had usually come first the last few years, with her daughter being the one who was dating around and doing the 'single' thing... All Lorelai wanted was to be with Luke. "The one" as she had dubbed him so long ago. Little did she know, he obviously didn't feel the same way about it as she did. Firstly, hiding his daughter from her showed Lorelai how un trustworthy he had been in her. and then, when she finally had known, he had slowly shut her out once more, causing her to doubt her abilities as a fiancé, girlfriend. she began to doubt her ability to be a potential step-mother to the girl that had captured her heart at her 13th birthday party, and she had begun to doubt his love for her.

Lorelai looked at her daughter and in a whisper said the words she had been dreading to say since the she had found out about April.

"he doesn't want me anymore."

Rory's heart broke at the sentence and the look of a lost little girl on her mothers face.

"I'm sure that's not true." She said sympathetically.

"I wish it weren't, but here we are." Lorelai stated, this time with a little more behind her voice than that of what she had before.

"but, what happened? I thought things were going okay between you guys."

"far from it babe... we just... I guess we just tried to do too much at once. he with April and me with the Inn. We just grew apart."

"Come on mom, 'Growing apart' happens to people who have been married for years. not you guys. you were supposed to get married and live together. You were so in love. What Really happened."

"I told you Rory. He doesn't want me."

"how do you know that?"

"Because I asked him to elope. I gave him an ultimatum and said that it was now or never... and he chose 'not now'."

"oh, Mom..." Rory started sympathetically.

"but what's worse is, he just stood there, and he let me walk away... I mean I poured my heart out to the guy and he lets me walk away."

"oh Mom... doesn't worry. I'm sure he'll come around." Rory stated sympathetically

"believe it or not, babe... it gets worse."

Rory's eyes widened... although she loved her mother and always supported her in anything she did... Rory had to wonder about some of the decisions that she made sometimes, because however well intentioned they were, sometimes they weren't the best..

Lorelai took her daughters silence as a request to continue.

"he thinks I slept with Christopher." she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"What?" Rory asked, Stony faced and with more malice than she had intended. "Why should he think that?" Rory asked accusingly.

"well, after we fought and he rejected me, I ended up at your dad's..."

"MOM!!! How could you!!??"

"No, Rory... Listen- it was incredibly innocent."

"HOW Innocent?"

"as innocent as him offering his bed so I wouldn't drive home drunk..."

"and what? you slept with him?" Rory spat back with hatred in her eyes.

"Rory-" but Rory cut her mother off suddenly.

"Save it mom... I'm getting sick of this. Every time something doesn't work out for you- you have to go running off to him. Now, I get that you are the childhood golden couple- Hell you have a kid together- but I don't need a daddy! I got over my stupid childhood fantasies of being one with Christopher a long time ago."

"Rory..." Lorelai tried to begin, getting madder and madder then she had ever been at her only daughter.

"But he just keeps pulling the 'good guy' routine' on you mom, and its got to stop. I mean... The night you and Luke broke up. Wow. So you just rushed right over there the minute you were free, huh?"

"Rory-"

Sounds like you were in quite a hurry did you put a dummy in the passenger seat so you could use the car-pool Lane?

"Rory!-"

What you didn't think of it? In too much of a rush I guess. I hope you buckled your seat belt. You're supposed to buckle your seat belt even if you're in a rush.

"hey!-"

"You know what, mom? If you're heartbroken, rent "An Affair to Remember," have a good cry, and drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream. You get a hideously unflattering break-up haircut. You don't sleep with dad."

"How dare you!" Lorelai had had enough. Rory was just as bad as he was if she thought there was any truth behind her night at Christopher's. " How Dare you speak to me like that! regardless of what had happened, you know better than to speak to anyone -especially your mother- the way you are missy!"

"Don't call me missy."

"ill, call you whatever the hell I want to young lady-"

"Whatever... i'm outta here." Rory spat at her mother, turned around, grabbed her bag and walked out the door.

Lorelai sank back into the couch, looking at her piles of Luke stuff as her eyes began to sting with unshed tears.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

**Well? What do we think? Review if you can! Also- suggestions on where to go from here will be good as I feel as though I have written myself into a hole! I have a vague idea of where I want to go with this story- just no idea how to get there!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sorry guys… I know it's been a while… major writers block… but here goes**_

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"And you haven't spoken to her since?" Sookie questioned over early morning coffee- water for Lorelai, as she just couldn't bring herself to drink the liquid that reminded her so much of him.

"She won't pick up when I call; I've left countless messages… I don't know what to do Sook- "

"Why don't you go over there… show up on her doorstep? She wouldn't be able to avoid you there" Sookie suggested.

"An ambush? Feels a little desperate." Lorelai answered.

"Isn't that what you are?" Sookie stated truthfully.

"Well... I guess I am. But you should have seen the look in her eyes... she was so angry. I've never seen her like that before." Lorelai said quietly. It was true... the look on her daughters face the week before had almost killed her, almost as bad as the look on Luke's face the day she told him they couldn't be together anymore. Then her quick betrayal which mislead him to believe that she had been unfaithful was near enough to make her vomit. In fact, she virtually had vomited, nearly every time she thought of how much she had screwed up this time.

"Well, Regardless of how she feels, she needs to know the truth." Sookie said resolutely, not paying any attention to the far away look on Lorelai's face as she though of Him. "And so does Luke. He needs to know what really happened that night"

"Sookie... Nothing happened that night- that's the point. I Love him, and I would Never, I Mean NEVER- do anything like that to him- especially with Christopher... "

"Tell him then!" Sookie shot out of her chair, exasperated.

"He should KNOW that." Lorelai yelled, even more exasperated than the animated Sookie.

"He should know..." she said once more, this time quietly, sadly."I shouldn't have to tell him, he should trust me, and if we don't have trust- then what do we have?"

Lorelai left the question out there lingering.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Kirk, I'm Closin' up" Luke's gruff tones cut through the silence of the newly empty diner - well empty- save for Kirk, anyways, and Luke was getting tired and frustrated with his constant presence in his establishment that the request may have come out a bit too harsh.

Kirk however didn't look upset. In fact- it seemed as if he hadn't even heard Luke. He just sat at one of the diner stools staring off into space. Which admittedly was not unusual for Kirk, but Luke still had to wonder what was up with the man. The majority of the town had by-passed the diner for the last few days- deciding that dealing with quiet, non responsive Luke was worse than angry burn all the food Luke that had been a direct result of their first break up. One customer, who by no means would be deterred from his favourite 'hang-out' spot proceeded to keep Luke in business (even if it only meant refilling his coffee every half hour for the past 4 hours- in fact - after the first three refills, Luke had switched his coffee to decaf, in order to keep Kirk around for the company rather than have him up and leave due to a severe caffeine high.)

But Kirk had been uncharacteristically quiet all day, not inundating Luke with insane questions and bizarre facts... but rather- he had just sat quietly and sipped his coffee not uttering a word other then to give a polite nod at Luke when he indicated at the coffee pot for a refill. Now, normally Luke would take it in his stride and thank his lucky stars with not having to deal with "Kirk", he was surprised to find that he was worried about the guy.

"Kirk? I'm closin'" he said again, this time standing behind the counter so that he was looking directly at him. Kirks blank stare continued as Luke finally gave a yelp.

"Hey!" Luke could have sworn that Kirk had jumped a foot in the air as he was shaken out of his distant reverie.

"Sorry Lue- did you say something?"

"Ya, Kirk- I'm closing up." Luke said as he began tipping chairs upside down on tables, in preparation to mop the floors.

"But Luke, Its six o'clock! You NEVER close at six o'clock on a Saturday night!"

"Actually Kirk- it's after eleven. You've been starin' into space for the last five hours."

"Oh, well... I guess ill get out of your way then."

"Kirk? What's wrong?" resigning to the fact that he was probably already in this conversation.

"Well, it's Lulu."

"What about her?"

"She's just so excited about me proposing and the wedding in three weeks that I-"

"Wait? The wedding is in Three weeks? You only just proposed?"

"I know... but I figured... id be better off marrying her now then have her change her mind."

"What makes you think she's gonna change her mind?"

"Did you ever think that Lorelai would change her mind?"

Luke looked at Kirk pointedly, prepared to simply yell at the man- but despite the way the town had been hanging around, offering sympathetic looks- Luke really hadn't spoken to anyone regarding the break up and resigned himself to the fact that Kirk had a point.

"No..." he sighed and ducked his head down to look at his shoes.

"See... I saw the way you two were. So in love and ready to be wed... but look how that turned out. That is what I'm worried about. What if Lulu and I get married and she realises she doesn't want to be married to me? Nearly sixty percent of all marriages in this day and age end in divorce! I don't want to be divorced! I mean, I never saw myself getting married either- but not getting married is way less stressful than getting married then divorced! or worse, what if she decides to not marry me and runs out on the wedding day leaving me stranded at the alter? I can't take that kind of humiliation!"

Luke had had enough of the mans ranting and raving that he firmly stated.

"Kirk!"

"I don't want to be without her."

"Do you love her?"

"It's not a question of love Luke-"

"DO you. Love. Her?"

"Well, Yeah... I do."

"Then hold on tight my friend, and don't let go.".

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Rory! What a nice surprise!"

Christopher ushered his daughter inside his condo, chuffed at the idea of spending time with his eldest child.

""Now what good deed did I do to deserve this surprise visit? GiGi's sleeping, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind me waking her if she has a chance to see her big sister!" Chris began heading toward the bedroom, but Rory stopped him before he could get too far.

"Dad? Would you just quit it with the niceties?" Rory spat, more venomous than she had intended- she did feel a little sorry for her dad, he was after all her dad, but she was on a roll with the angry spitting of words that she probably wouldn't mean, but she knew if she didn't say it all now, she wouldn't have the courage again.

"Ror-" Chris began, with a confused, befuddled look on his face.

"Save it dad... I know what you did"

"Wh-" Chris was so confused now. Why was his daughter mad? What HAD he done?

"You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" Rory thought of the previous time she had told her dad to stay out of her mom's life. She had acknowledged that Luke and Lorelai were a 'forever' thing and she had warned him about coming between that. She also remembered shutting him out after he HAD tried to get in between at the grandparents Vow renewal, resulting in the long harrowing month where Luke and Lorelai had wallowed around in self pity, before finally reuniting for good.

"Rory, I have no id-"

"… Idea what I'm talking about? Oh, well okay- let me clue you in... Dad" Rory began pacing, gesturing violently and rasing her voice with each word.

"I told you. I told you to stay away and let them live their lives, didn't I? But no... The first sign of trouble and who does mom turn to? You, that's who!" There was no stopping her now.

"And you couldn't just be like a normal friend, could you? No- you had to get her drunk and into bed!"

"Rory I..." Chris staggered at the accusation. Why had Lorelai told her that? Did she really hate him that much that she had to turn their daughter against him?

"No dad... I don't wanna hear it. You keep doing this. You keep butting in where you don't belong! Mom is finally happy! And the minute something goes wrong- you have to sleep with her?" Chris was the one who raised his voice now, if only to be heard by is ranting, raving daughter.

"Rory! I don't know what your mother told you, but the fact is she came here. She came to me! And I did nothing but be a friend to her and let her stay the night."

Rory looked shocked at the revelation. Was it true? Or was her dad lying to her, trying to cover his tracks once more.

"It's true. I didn't want her driving after she had been drinking, so I offered her my bed. I took the couch."

"So nothing happened?"

"No. I don't believe your mother would have told you a lie like that!"

Rory couldn't believe it herself, why would her mother lie like that? Rory then thought back to the actual conversation and realised that she had indeed, jumped to conclusions upon finding out where her mother had spent the night. She recalled getting angry at her mother, and saying some very harsh words- which - with this new revelation, were completely uncalled for. Guilt plagued Rory and she felt her stomach drop.

"Uh, she kind of didn't..."She answered her father in a quiet voice.

"I don't understand if she didn't tell you why did you accuse me of that?"

"I think I did something really stupid."

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Lorelai pulled into the only parking spot left in front of Doose's Market and stifled the urge to turn around and look at the Diner. Luke's belief in her indescretion had hurt like hell, but what was worse; her daughter also believed that her night in Boston was less than innocent. That was nit what she had intended. Sure, she hadn't intended on lying to Luke- however passive the lie had been, but she thought that maybe, just maybe if he hated her, if he had reason to hate her- then it would be easier to let him go. And for him to let her go. Yes, she didn't need him to be her strong self. She didn't need his doubts. She didn't need any of it... all she needed was... Well right now- Ice-cream.

Yeah, a couple of Pints of Ben and Jerry's oughta do it.

She slowly walked into Doose's, aware that all eyes were on her. She had been on the receiving end of many a sympathetic look for the past day and a half. The 'Break-up' between herself and Luke is a complete secret to the town- so naturally, everybody knew. She no doubt had Babbette and Patty to thank for that.

Shying past the nosy neighbours, she strode confidently into the market- straight towards the freezer section. Grabbing a chocolate, Chocolate Chip flavoured Ice-cream then headed to the coffee isle. If she were no longer going to the diner- she would have to stock up her own cupboard with coffee.

Suddenly, her heart clenched and she realised just why the customers in the store-front had gone silent upon her entry. There- standing in front of the coffee Hand on his chin, searching for a brand of Coffee that didn't scream - "Mass produced in a factory in Columbia, where they pay children less than 50 cents an hour' was her favourite flannel clad diner man.

Well... not hers anymore.

She froze. Her heart stopped in her chest, and she had to resist the urge to simply cry out and fling herself at his feet. She contemplated simply turning around and heading to the counter. She would get her ice-cream and he would be none the wiser. But almost as if he were reading her thoughts- he turned around.

The urge to throw herself into his arms became stronger as she found his eyes with her own. Lorelai wondered if anyone ever managed to disappear of the face of the earth just by sheer will, as the face that had been complacent just a moment ago- suddenly turned dark and hard.

She averted her eyes, tears stinging the corners as she made a move to grab her coffee and go, but he reached out first, barring her way. His fingers felt like ice and she wondered if that was due to unseasonable chill they were having this may- of because of her. Had she turned him cold and heartless?

She didn't have much time to contemplate this as he spoke to her.

"Guess there was no way to avoid each other forever." His tone was cold, defeated, lifeless.

She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to yell at him and tell him what an idiot he was for believing that she would hurt him so. But all she could do was match his lifeless tone.

"Yeah, I guess."

He picked a coffee can off the shelf and held it out to her. It was her preferred brand (after 'Luke's' of course) and he had made sure that he had grabbed the 'triple espresso' flavour and not the mild latte. And not the decaffeinated one either. It shocked her that he knew her so well.

Or so she thought.

She looked into his eyes once more, and could see the hurt behind the anger. "I'm sorry..." she started, fully intending to reveal the truth- then and there, but he cut her off.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. We knew it couldn't last. You were always meant for someone like Christopher. Probably better that it happened now than when we were married."

She looked up once more, the tears clearly welling, stung that he would deliver such a low emotional blow.

"Luke..." he cut her off by beginning to walk away. She was defiant in making him listen, to have all this hurt behind her. "You can't just act like this doesn't affect you!"

"But it doesn't affect me. I'm not mad."

"But you are mad... you're mad and your assuming things and you won't even let me explain mys..."

"What's to explain, Lorelai? You went to him, did you not?"

"Well, yes- but its not what you thi..."

"You went to him, the one person that I can't forgive you for going to."

"See, clearly it affects you..."

"No it doesn't. Whatever- I'm over it... you were the one who proposed in the first place."

Stung, Lorelai lost her arguing point and looked down as he walked away from what she would assume was the last time.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Mom?" Rory called as she entered the house with a handful of shopping bags. She figured that she had some major grovelling to do, so she may as well suck up with candy.

"Mom?" She asked again softer as she saw the mop of dark brown hair sitting on the couch. She was shaking under the weight of her silent sobs and only cried harder when her daughter snuggled up beside her and held her close.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

_**Ok, So I know it's been a while, but there you have it. As Ive stated previously, the first few chapters are sort of just setting the scene for the rest of the story, so don't fret if this seems too similar to the actual show... I was kind of planning on doing something similar to that, only with one major difference that changed the entire outcome of the storyline. That being said... Please give me any thoughts you may have to make this story better**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys... not too much feedback on the last chapter. Probably cos ****I**** continue to drag this story out... but I just don't know which bits to cut... so you're stuck with it all! Anyway- ****here's**** hoping that this chapter does something for ya's!**

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

It had been three weeks. Three long and tiring weeks. Lorelai had spent almost the entire time going over details for the wedding the entire town seemed to be anticipating which, as luck would have it, was being held at the Dragonfly Inn. This meant Lorelai had been inundated with ridiculous 'Bride-to-be' queries and problems. ("the florist said the archway in the ballroom is too Low, Could we make it Higher? And we may also need to widen the doorway to make room for the ice sculpture") Stupidly enough, Lorelai had also said yes to altering the bridesmaids' dresses- which meant when she was not at the inn slaving over flower arrangements, catering capers and ridiculous requests to change the structural integrity of the Inn, she became buried in a sea of pink tulle and taffeta as soon as she got home. That's what you had to go through when you decided to plan a wedding in less than a month. In a way, she guessed it could be seen as a good thing. In the entire three weeks she hadn't the time to be alone with her thoughts, which meant her thoughts rarely wandered towards a certain diner and its crabby yet sweet owner.

His thoughts however, had drifted many a time, to the delightful inn owner. He often found himself staring into space during one of the diners' lulls. Kirk and Lulu had made the diner their official meeting place when it came time to discuss issues with the wedding. (And Lorelai had grown tired of them staking out the Dragonfly) So Luke was privy to the entire goings on at the Dragonfly, he even had heard of how she had volunteered her sewing services to Lulu's bridesmaids. He knew she was pushing herself to the max. Burying herself in her work so as not to think about him of her relationship. He had noticed it last time- their first breakup- she had done it then too.

He saw the toll it had on her as she quickly passed the diner each day. Although she had always kept her head down and her eyes diverted, he saw it in her walk, her stance, the way she held herself. He saw the toll of long nights and not enough sleep. Of not enough food. And her physical appearance was not the only thing that that had appeared to be diminished- her spirit had changed. She looked sad. Defeated. As if she was done with the world and the only thing she had getting her out of bed in the morning was her daughter and her work.

Whatever, he thought. It was no longer his problem.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Weston's for breakfast was becoming a new fixture in Lorelai's life. Sure, the food was cutsie, presented with powdered sugar flowers on the plate, the coffee cups were delicate and small, so one was never enough, and the chances of Frans successors to put anything besides sweets on the menu would be fairly slim, but it was doable. And Lorelai could live with it. For now.

On this particular morning she exited Weston's after mere seconds. The smell of coffee, so strong it was making her sick. She had to wonder if someone had accidently burnt the coffee beans or maybe had added too much, because the smell was just terrible.

Hang on? Since when had strong coffee been a problem to Lorelai Gilmore? The thought of someone putting too many grinds in the machine would usually make her the happiest person in the world. Maybe the lack of coffee over the last few weeks (she had only been having one or two cups a day) had made her tolerance to the stuff waver. Or maybe it was something else. She shuddered at the thought of that 'something else'. Surely it could be an explanation as to why she spent half her time with her head in the toilet, and how strong smells (even that of her delicious elixir of life) was making her gag.

"No, no no, no!" she mumbled as she fished in her bag for her planner. What she had recently chalked up to being over stressed suddenly looked as if it could be something much bigger.

"This is not happening." She quickly fumbled around in the bag, and her eyes caught something across the square and in the all-too-familiar Luke's diner.

Luke's beaten old Green Truck had pulled up to the curb closest to the diner and she stood and watched as he got out, with a smile on his face, as he fished around in the back of the truck for a duffel bag. A nice lime green, definitely feminine as there were little novelty key chains hanging from the zippers, and he made his way to the passenger door. He held out his hand and out stepped April, Beaming and chattering a mile a minute about god knows what.

The smile on his face she recognised. It was one of incredulous wonder, with a smattering of pride and a dash of bewilderment. That was how she had seen him when he was around Rory, especially when she was younger. That's how she imagined herself looking as her daughter spouted off her wealth of knowledge. Forgetting momentarily about their separation and the reasons behind it, her thoughts drifted to sometime in the future. She saw him gazing down with that same look of awe and wonder at a tiny little creature in a pale crib. She saw him gently life the baby out and hold it to his chest, whispering words of reassurance to the youngster as he slowly rocked back and forth with the child. She saw him hovering over her, grumbling over her coffee consumption while pregnant. She saw him going to prenatal appointments with- and post natal with her and their son. A Son... she could see Luke with a son. And as much as she loved her daughter... she would want a little boy- just to even the score.

Jumping out of her fantasy into harsh reality she realised that Luke and April had already entered the diner... probably quite some time ago, as she had been day dreaming for a while. She realised that her hand was in her bag, clasped around the day planner she had been furiously trying to locate, just moments ago. She opened it and flicked to today's date... then back a few weeks, scanning for the tell tale little red dot she always put in the corner... there was none. There was none for around 10 weeks... how had she not known? Her musings were abruptly stopped by the ringing of her cell phone. It was Sookie. Was she late? _In a big way! _When was she coming in? _God only knows. _She hung up with Sookie after making a quick excuse about sleeping in, hopped into her Jeep and headed out of Stars Hollow for the nearest drug store in Litchfield.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Pink... Pink is a pale red color that has first occurred in the 17th century to describe the pale red flowers of pinks, flowering plants in the genus Dianthus. (Thanks Wikipedia) Pink is the sweet side of red. Its cotton candy and bubble gum and babies, especially little girls. This had always thrown Lorelai. Why pink? Why does the strip turn pink when you take that particular test? I could be seen as implying that you were actually having a girl, as opposed to a boy. She wondered why that hadn't been picked up as a discriminatory act yet. Someone surely was dumb enough to notice that and bring it to the attention of the manufacturers... then maybe they could choose a more neutral tone to display a positive result, like yellow or green. No, Wait... green is the new pink, right? Or at least it was four years ago at the baby shower for Sherry. Crap, Baby shower... Baby... Pregnant. For a minute Lorelai was shocked at how easy it was for her to ramble and go off on a tangent, even when she was thinking to herself.

She was Pregnant...

Wow, what a revelation. She could hear her mind try to process this as she sat in one of the empty rooms of the inn, having just used the bathroom and she sat amongst the ten or so tests that she had bought and taken- all of them saying the same thing. She was going to be a mother... again.

She sighed as she fell backwards on the bed, resting her back and head lengthwise across the bed, unsure of how to feel about this. How was she supposed to feel? Scared? Excited? Nauseous... ok, she was probably supposed to feel that one... but should she be happy about this? The fear thing she had down. She was terrified. Another pregnancy alone. Becoming a single mother, Again... And what of Luke... would he be happy about this? Sure... Six Months ago, maybe he would have been, before he had found out about the existence of April, she would have been ecstatic as well... Even if they hadn't planned the wedding and cancelled it... but did he want kids now that he already had the perfect daughter?

She had to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. Their talk back before they were even together about whether kids would be a discussion 'with the right person', his admission and subsequent freak-out about the theoretical kids when Mike Armstrong had all but bribed her to sell her inn and come and work for her, their Drunken, post-proposal glow as they whispered their confessions of 'kids would be good'... Did he want that now? With her? Or was his initial inclination towards kids because he didn't have any of his own. And now that he had the perfect daughter... would he want this? She sighed once more and a soft tear dripped down her cheek as she absentmindedly stroked her flat (for now) stomach. Her thoughts went back to that little boy- the one with brown hair- Dark- like hers- and the bluest eyes one had ever seen on a man. He would resemble his father in as many ways imaginable as he would chatter away as fast as his mother. Once again she laughed as she realised that she was in exactly the same position that she was almost twenty three years ago. Of course... back then, she had become the gossip highlight of the social debutante season. Now, she was just another unmarried pregnant woman. Surely Emily Gilmore would have something to say about that!

She sighed again as she realised that Luke was not like Christopher. He would love this baby... no matter what he felt about her. April was a prime example. Even though Anna had lied and kept them apart for twelve years, he still wanted to know his daughter, and love her as only a father can. This was one of the many things she loved about the man. His constant devotion to his family. Would he be the same as that with this baby? Or would he forever resent her for ruining their relationship (supposedly) Luke had confided in her once, that he had never loved Anna, perhaps that's why her betrayal was overlooked so. That's not to say she was right in doing what she did... she was wrong of course, but maybe it stung so less because it was not the pain of realising that someone who loved you so callously disregarded your feelings in the way of keeping something as sweet and important as a child. Perhaps this was why Luke was so afraid of living by Anna's rules. Because she had no residual feelings for him, she would be able to take April away without a second thought for his feelings.

She wouldn't, No- Couldn't do that to him. He had every right to know his child, just as their child had every right to know his father. (She wasn't sure when she had started to refer to the baby as 'him' in her self-conversation... but she liked the idea of a son) He wasn't Christopher... he wouldn't take off at the first sign of trouble. He wasn't about to abandon his child and go gallivanting around LA. He would be there for it all. First smiles and steps... First days of school, Graduations... She realised that now that she shared this connection with Luke, she would be in his life forever. No matter their relationship.

But did she want that? Did she want to be one of those feuding couples? The ones that keep it civil only for the Childs sake? She imagined him coming to her house and the two of them making idle chit-chat through clenched teeth while their kid ran up and down the stairs, grabbing his things to stay at daddies. She imagined resenting him for the time they shared and him resenting her for the same. She then took a moment and thought of what it could be like if she just got over the pride they both shared. She could then see him kissing her stomach as they charted her growth on a chart on the wall. She could see him holding her hand through every single doctor's appointment and then when it came time to go through labour. She could see herself waddling through the door of the diner as she complained to anyone who would listen about how she blamed him for her current condition. She saw him rubbing her tired feet and swollen ankles as she sat and ate some crazy concoction her cravings had thought up. She saw him smiling and kissing her as they giggled while awkwardly making love trying to accommodate for her now protruding stomach. She wanted that. She wanted kisses and love.

_Tell him the truth, you need to- for the sake of your baby... and your __sanity_The 'Good' Lorelai could hear her say. She rarely made an appearance in her mind, but she was always there, skulking around in the background, just watching as the 'bad' Lorelai influenced her to make all the wrong decisions. But she was always the first in to say _I told you so_ when everything went to shit. Where had she been that night, the night of the ultimatum? She could have useful in stopping her from throwing away everything. Or even when Luke had confronted her... she should have been the one to tell Luke the truth- that she had spent the night- AS A FRIEND- at Christopher's, instead of allowing 'Bad' Lorelai to take over and want to punish him for hurting her.

She had to giggle a little at the analogy. Here she was imagining herself as if she were a cartoon character with two miniature little Lorelai's perched on her shoulder whispering good and bad into her ears. Surely this would mean that she was hysterical. Insane, maybe even deranged. ..

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Luke looked up from counting the receipts as he heard thebells above the door chime. Only one person would come in after the diner had closed for the night, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her.

However, he still looked up. And what he saw in front of him, was not the woman he had loved for so long. Her eyes were sunken and hollow, as if she hadn't slept in days. Her face, red and spotty- especially around the frame of her eyes- indicating that she had been crying. Her frame, while always slim (despite the amount of 'crap' she put in it) was frail and she seemed to have lost weight in the mere three weeks since that night.

He shuddered at the thought of that night he had tried to get rid of the nightmares of her and Christopher. Him touching her where _HE_ had thought he would be the last one to touch. His lips on her soft sin as she kissed him heatedly. He shook his head as he willed the images to disappear.

"I'm closed" he stated, spitefully.

"I know, I figured it would be easier for you to yell at me without a diner full of people." she quipped as she stood in the doorway, not moving until she was sure her legs wouldn't give out.

"What do you want?" Luke asked, his eyes going back down to the receipts he held in his hand, willing himself not to think of her sad appearance.

"Can we talk?" She asked as she took a tentative step forward.

"We have nothing to talk about." Luke stated simply as he placed the receipts back in the register and slammed the till closed, probably alittle harder than he had originally intended. He turned around and shut off the lights and began making his way upstairs.

"Luke," She started, determined not to let him stalk away. He had to fight to not hear the desperation in her voice as it shook with unshed tears.

"You can show yourself out." He gestured to the door as he turned around and began to pull back the curtain that would lead him upstairs. She lost all resolve then and there as she blurted out-

"I'm pregnant." A single tear drifted down her cheek as she watched his face as he turned slowly, as if in slo-motion.

_What did she say? _He asked himself, willing his ears to have gone into a momentary lapse of function.

"What?" he heard himself asking, his mouth moving before his mind could catch up. She sniffed once more as the tears started to fall, more frequently now.

"I'm pregnant" she began "and I know you're not talking to me, and you're mad because of the Christopher thing and, you know I should have said this sooner, but..." he cut her off. His mind was reeling with this overload of information. Lorelai, Christopher, pregnant. What did this mean? Was she having Chris's child? Was she upset because she screwed up once more and Christopher had left her pregnant and alone once more, just like he did over two decades ago? Why in god's name was she telling him this? Why did she think he would care?

Did he care?

Well, of course he cared. You didn't go from being best friends and lovers for over8 years to all of a sudden not care... He cared that this once, vivaciouswoman was reduced to this broken little girl in front of him, he cared that once more, Christopher had broken her spirit and wounded her heart. He cared that, once again- Christopher had got the perfect family- Lorelai, Rory and now this baby, but he still didn't want a part of it. Any of it. Luke had always hated himfor that. Christopher was weak, but the woman he left behind twenty three years ago was the strongest he could imagine. Rory, the most perfect kid, could see past all of his shortcomings and still call him 'Dad', which gave him hope for his situation with April, but never in a Million years would he have left if he had known that Anna was pregnant. Even if their relationship didn't work out, he still would have been around. He could never imagine leaving his child. And yet again- Christopher had it all... he just chose not to be a part of it.

"Stop." he cut off her ramblings. He watched her face fall, lower than it had been minutes before, hoping that he might say something.

"Lock the door on your way out." he stated coldly and swept behind the curtain and up the stairs.

Lorelai stopped dead. The sting of his last words still reeling in her mind. He had told her to go away. He had dismissed her pregnancy as if it meant nothing. She didn't even get to tell him the truth about 'that night' as she had come to call it. And she was going to, honest.

She sniffled as she willed the tears not to fall. She willed her heart not to break as she slowly stood and walked out of the diner, flipping the lock as she did so.

She looked up wistfully at the roof wondering whether or not to go up there and tell him the truth, make him hear the truth. But the lump in her throat would not budge- and even on the verge of tears, she could not summon the courage to climb the stairs.

Instead she stepped outside closed the door and slowly made her way back to the jeep.

Once there, she fumbled with the door handle, not looking anywhere but it as she did so and hopped in.

It was not until in the safety of the car did she let out a strangled sob that started somewhere in her chest as the tears fell in buckets. She hunched over and covered her eyes with the arm that rested on the steering wheel as she shook violently, her entire body going numb, unable to move she sat there and broke down unknown to her, though, someone had witnessed her moment of misery.

Luke stood at the windowsill in the apartment above the diner and watched as the woman he loved broke down. Everything he had wanted to go out there, pull her out of the vehicle and hold her till the pain went away, but he knew he couldn't. She had made her bed, and now she had to lie in it-whether it was with or without Christopher was not his problem.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

**Ya**** I Know... Luke is being a bit of an ass... but it's just his defence mechanism... ****lol****! Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Im so sorry this chapter has been a long time coming... but Christmas is really getting me down this year! LOL. So many things to do! And I prioritised so that posting this chapter would make the list. So please enjoy.

Just a quick note before we begin- i wanna thank all of those people who have reviewed, I have had so many nice comments about how people are des[erate for me to update sooner rather than later and i gotta tell you its a very motivating factor. Also some people have commented on how sad this story is... im sorry but i don't believe that the real version of events was sad ENOUGH! So i do enjoy adding a bit of angst here and there... but you gotta know im all about the happy endings! I wish i could reply to each review... that would be great, but you know how long it would take to answer every single reply... so this is just a blanket thank you!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Hey mom." Rory asked as she wandered out of her room in her Pyjamas greeting her mother who was sitting at the kitchen table. After the harrowing Friday night dinner the night before, In which Lorelai had broken down in front of her mother and father about the break up with Luke, Rory decided that she would have to be extra careful around her mother, until she was out of this funk at least.

"Are you enjoying your breakfast?" The question seemed juvenile but there again- Lorelai was making a show of holding up the pop-tart and studying it intently.

"I don't know if I like pop-tarts." Lorelai recited cryptically.

"Did you fall on your head while you were sleeping?" Rory asked, confused by the sudden segue in conversation.

"I don't know. Do I like this? Is this something I like?"

"So, you fell on your head, and now you have some kind of very specific amnesia to breakfast foods, is that it?" Confused about where she was going with this.

"Last night I was dreading mom and dad's reaction to the breakup, right?" Lorelai looked her daughter intently.

"Right. Dread. I remember."

"And then they didn't react -- not one bit. It's almost like the absence of their reaction was worse than any freak-out they could have had." Lorelai gestured wildly as Rory looked longingly at the pop tart still clutched in her mother's hand.

"Okay. Sure."

"Then I thought, "Why? Why do I care if they freak out? What do I get out of it?" Rory began searching for the pop tarts in the cupboard behind her mother.

"And then I thought, "maybe their freak-outs" are like some kind of compass for me, you know "like, I know I'm doing what I want to do if it freaks them out." And then I thought, "what if I don't want to do "what I want to do because I want to do it, but because they don't want me to?" Seriously, sometimes Lorelai's Babbling techniques astounded even herself.

Surely, her mom had lost it.

Lorelai got up and paced the kitchen "I mean what if I don't like what I like because I like it, but because my mother doesn't like it and doesn't want me to like it? What if I don't actually like the music that I like or the movies or the clothes or the men? What if I don't like what I seem to like?"

Her mother's weird logic once again actually made sense.

"Ah, hence the pop-tart."

"Among other things." Lorelai looked down and said quietly.

"Like..." Rory asked, fishing for her mom to finish.

"Like everything. Like Luke. Did I just go out with him just to see the reaction my mother would have?" Lorelai stated, not really sure why. She was being irrational, and she knew it- she just couldn't stop the annoying persistent voice in her mind.

"No mom. You Love Luke." Rory tried to insist.

"And that too... do I really love him? Is he really the one? Or was I just alluding myself?"

Rory was trying to figure out where this was all coming from. She began to fight back.

"You know that he is! You're just having a major freak out right now because of what Grandma and Grandpa did."

"Or didn't do... depending on how you look at it." Lorelai pointed out weakly.

"What the hell is wrong with you? why are you acting so nutty and debating your feelings- which- by the way- you know are real and flipping out as if your-"

"I'm Pregnant." Lorelai said quietly.

"Excuse me?" asked Rory – disbelieving.

"Pregnant... Me. With Child. Bun in the oven. Knocked up. Unmarried and pregnant. Should be my motto" Lorelai muttered as she sat back down and put her head in her hands. Rory just stood there in shock. A million thoughts were running through her head.

"Rory... Say something." Lorelai was starting to worry about whether she should have told Rory the way she had. And also whether she would be okay with the idea. Did she want a little Brother or sister? Or would this be too much for her to handle.

"Wow..." Rory stood there shell shocked. A baby. Her Mom was having a baby.

"Little more than something." Lorelai asked her to elaborate on the nothingness that was her previous answer.

"I'm sorry... just. Wow. Are you sure? 'Cos you remember last time... your methods of checking are extended only to fruit." She asked sceptically, remembering the previous time.

"I took a test. More than one test, actually. Around about ten or so... I don't know... they give you three in a box and I bought 4 boxes thinking there was only one in each box. Stupid me didn't think to check the label first. which is weird anyways... I mean, it's as if they actually know that whoever is doing the test is gonna flip out and want to take more than one, just to be sure- I mean... its ingenious really-"

"Mom." Rory stopped her. Trying to imagine what her mother must be feeling right now was completely eluding her beyond comprehension.

"Yes." Lorelai asked softly, afraid of what was to come.

"You're going to have a baby." Rory smiled as she softly took her mother's hand.

"Yeah." Lorelai took the hand that Rory held and squeezed it gently as she placed it on her abdomen.

"Does Luke know?" Rory asked suddenly, interrupting their quiet moment.

"Rory..."

"You haven't told him?" Rory accused. The father should be the FIRST to know!

"Why can't you just drop this?" Lorelai removed their hands and began towards the stairs in the living room.

"Because you're stubborn."

"Please..."

"And I know that Luke is Stubborn too... but you need to tell him... everything." Hoping that her mother understood what she meant by EVERYTHING. The fact that this little misunderst6aning had gone on for this long made Rory angry. Angry with her mother, Angry with Luke.

"Rory..." Lorelai tried to cut in.

"No! You have to do something. You have to tell him... I'm not gonna sit here and watch you actively sit on your butt and do nothing."

"I told him." She yelled to silence her daughter.

"You told him?" Rory Repeated.

"I told him." Lorelai affirmed, unwilling to let her daughter know how much his reaction hurt her.

"And?" Rory pushed.

"Wasn't good." She said quietly as a single tear trickled down her face.

"Awe, Mom... I'm sorry."

"I went there to tell him, about the baby... and about everything... but he was cold. Distant. I told him and he barely batted an eyelid before dismissing me and leaving the room."

"Mom..."

"I know I shouldn't expect anything of a great happy 'woo hoo were having a baby' kind of way. But he said nothing. He looked hurt and shocked, which only led me to believe that he thought I was informing him out of curtosey, and not because I Love him."

"Told you you did." Rory added, trying to lighten the moment. The two Gilmore girls sat on the couch and Lorelai allowed herself to sink into her daughter's arms once more.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Lorelai? Are you paying attention to me at all? Honestly, I don't know what it is I have to do to make you care about important events!" Emily Gilmores shrill voice cut through the daydream that Lorelai's nausea had caused.

"Yes mom... I was listening." Lying though her teeth.

"Well, what was the last thing I said?" Emily folded her hands over her notebook so that she couldn't see what was next on the list.

"Uhh, it was about... tablecloths?" Lorelai guessed.

"You should pay attention to your guests." Emily admonished, pushing Lorelai to breaking point.

"You're not a guest mom; you're a client- guests are actually people to stay in the inn- not over run them with DAR biddies and their views on the proper height of a taper."

"I'm sorry- but those candles were atrocious. You may as well have de-throned me of my role as president of the DAR- New England chapter right here and sent me out the back to help scrub dishes." Trust the Gilmore women to make a scene in the middle of a public place.

"Well, at least my kitchen staff would know the difference between a boisterous candle and an elegant candle- which is apparently a quarter of an inch. And no, we couldn't just cut them down to size; we had to order new ones." Why was she biting back? This was usually the kind of stuff that she would let go, humour her mother. Allow her to make ridiculous conclusions and mock her behind her back.

"Lorelai Gilmore... I just simply don't understand why you insist that these matters are of so little importance to you."

"That because they are of little importance to me, mom. Gloria is the events co-ordinator- you've already driven her crazy with meeting after meeting, gone over countless arrangements including the tablecloths and napkins and napkin holders- which by the way- had to be IMPORTED, for which you owe me an extra $200 on. I'm out here listening to you babble on about everything under the sun, as though I'm two and have never held a catered event in the inn that I own, which means I have a bazillion other things to do today, and listening to you does not even make the top ten!"

"Well I apologise for being in your way. I shall let you get back to whatever task that has made you too busy to spend five minutes with your mother about an event which is bringing you a lot of money to run said inn."

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Emily said as she gathered up her books and brochures and headed for the door, just as Lorelai headed towards the bathroom to heave up another breakfast.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The bells above the door jingled to signify the arrival of yet another customer. All day, Luke had been going out of his mind thinking about Lorelai and her current… situation… he guessed he could call it. And as much as he wanted to remain detached, is mind kept replaying their conversation over in his head. The heartbreaking look in her eyes. The lost little girl begging for someone to talk to. And he had dismissed her- just as easily as if she were Kirk on a day where he was particularly bugging him. Perhaps he should not have been so harsh. After all. It was Lorelai. His best friend for so long and the woman of his dreams. But he was so destroyed by what she had done. Gone to spend the night with Christopher. The one man he could not stand being in her life. The man who was the only threat to his demise as her fiancé.

Perhaps Christopher had been right. Maybe Luke was the 'For now' Guy. Maybe Lorelai was just biding her time until Christopher had no burdens tying him up and she could be free to be with him. Hell, who knew if she had ever loved him.

"Stop it!" he told himself. He knew in his heart that this was not the case. She had loved him. Had being the operative word. But the moment he had not paid full attention to her, she bolted straight for HIM. Luke had every right to be angry, right? It was her who hadn't had enough faith in them. She who had issued the ultimatum and subsequently ran off to Christopher. Luke just wanted the space to be able to connect with his daughter for crying out loud. And sure, maybe he went the wrong way about it... but she didn't say anything! She just sat there, idly. She knew he wasn't a quick thinker. She knew it took him time to work things out in his head. She should have known.

"Hey Luke." said a shy timid voice. One Luke recognised as the beautiful progeny of the woman he loved. The girl he would happily call his surrogate daughter- if she would have him.

"Rory, Hey." Luke said, taken aback by her presence. He was at a loss of what to say. So he went for something he knew would never fail.

"Coffee?" He asked as he gestured to a cup he had taken from behind the counter.

"Please." Rory smiled, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her face resembled her mother's so much, that he could almost see the same disappointment in her eyes as he saw that night. The night he couldn't jump.

"Rory..."He started. Still lost for what to say.

"No, Luke... I came here to say a few things. And I want to say them before I lose my nerve."

Luke prepared himself for a back lashing. Wait, he wasn't in the wrong here. Lorelai was the one who had done all of this. She was the one who slept with someone else- not him. Or maybe this was about his reaction- or Non-reaction as it were- to Lorelai's news. Luke guarded himself none the less.

"I don't know exactly what's going on in my mother's head... or in your head for that matter. I've never really been an 'I-know-what-your-thinking' kind of person. I've always based my decisions, my feelings and my opinions around facts. It's what I know that I decide on. Like I know that Kirk has the same pair of pants in four different colours and he decides in the morning which pair to wear based on what 'mood' he is in." Luke furrowed his brow, confused at where this was going, but Rory continued.

"I know that Taylor- without fail will come in here every November 15th at roughly 12pm- your busiest hour, hoping that you may be just distracted enough that you will say yes to him putting a 7ft stuffed turkey out on the sidewalk in front of the diner reminding people of the impending holiday rush on turkey at Dooses Markets. And every year- without fail- you say no."

"Well, it's just a code I live by." Luke added, still confused as to where this was going- but wanting to be obliging to her mini-rant.

"and I know that my black jeans don't go nearly as well with my scoop neck sweater as my blue jeans do, it's all about colour ratio... an"

"Rory... your point?"

"Right, sorry" she said sheepishly- embarrassed that she went off on such a tangent.

"My point it. I know Mom is stubborn. And that's why she won't approach you herself. And I know that it's a defence mechanism. I know that she is scared but she's more afraid of losing you than anything in the world."

"Ror-"

"I'm not done; I know that you're stubborn too- just as stubborn- if not more. But she has her pride. And while you also have your pride- you have to know the truth. You need to get her to tell you what really happened that night with my dad- more specifically, what didn't happen""

Luke's mind was reeling. The glimpse of happiness he was given through this new information shone through him as bright as day. He stopped dead, though, when he realised just what this meant she had lied to him about Christopher. She had told him that they spent the night together? Was it all just a ploy to hurt him the way he hurt her? How in god's name could she stoop so low? Realisation suddenly dawned on him when he realised that she had been trying to tell him something the other night. Before he had simply dismissed her news about the pregnancy (oh, god... that meant he was going to be having a baby!) she had tried to confess something. Was she going to apologise for lying to him? Did she want them to go back to being what they were before the ultimatum? Or was she just there to hash out over the details of child support payments and whose house the kid visits on respective holidays.

Then he remembered her meltdown in the jeep out the front of the diner. He had been so cold and heartless. No wonder she hadn't been around the last few days. He had noticed that she was no-longer heading past the town square to get to the dragonfly. No doubt she was heading away from the centre of town and going by the back roads, just to avoid him. God, Luke's mind was reeling.

"Rory... why didn't she tell me herself?"

"Did I not mention the fact that she is stubborn?"

Luke smiled slightly and sighed.

"Go to her. Please Luke. Ask her to tell you what really happened." Rory begged.

Luke looked pensively on as Rory made a move towards the door.

"They need you" she said quietly, and walked out the door, leaving Luke dumbfounded behind the counter.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Hey chicken!" Sookie's voice chippered as she walked off the threshold and into the living room. Lorelai was lying on the couch after a particularly bad bout of morning sickness had cramped her stomach and was wondering why the morning sickness became much more prominent once you found out about the pregnancy. She had to admit though, having Rory help her that morning, after getting everything off her chest she felt a might better about everything. Even if she and Luke never reconciled, she knew that her daughter would stick beside her the entire way- even though she knew that Luke would never abandon his child, it was just a matter of letting him know it actually WAS his child and, given the fact that he hated her it was not going to be easy to get him to listen.

"When Rory called and told me you Michel sent you home sick, I decided that I was gonna make you some comfort food to make you better." Sookie added as she sat the tray of plastic containers on the coffee table and lent down to feel Lorelai's forehead.

"Hmmmm... don't feel a fever. Are you sure you're sick?" Sookie joked. A Wave of guilty suddenly washed over Lorelai regarding her best friend. Lorelai had been the one to notice both of Sookie's pregnancies being able to share in the joy of finding out. She had known even before Jackson had known which led her to wonder whether her friend would be upset with this secret she had been keeping and if she should tell her. Lorelai played with the idea in hermind and decided that it wouldn't be fair to Luke if the entire town knew about the baby, especially with their relationship melt-down still on the gossip mills about town. She didn't need to add any fuel to the flame.

"I'm okay, I guess... I just feel a little off" Not a complete lie... she thought to herself. Aside from the morning sickness she was periodically getting these sharp pains in her stomach, pains that she would have usually related to period pain. When she was pregnant with Rory she actually still had her monthly period, so she figured it would be the same with this little one, so she thought nothing of it and just planned on lazing about the house as she would normally do.

"Well... I'm here to make you feel all better!" Sookie said gleefully. Grabbing the platter of containers which Lorelai was sure were filled to the brim with Sookie's delightful goodies and headed towards the kitchen. "You just sit there and relax ''cos I'm here for you!"

Lorelai made a move to get up off the couch and follow her friend into the kitchen to insist that she felt okay but not hungry.

Then it hit her.

This unbelievable wave of dizziness coursed through her and she began to wobble. Holding out her hand to break her fall. It collided with the edge of the coffee table sending a cup flying.

Sookie upon hearing the noise ran to Lorelai's aid as she tried to prevent herself from hurtling to the floor.

"Whoa there sweetie. You're okay... I'm here." Sookie Soothed as she helped Lorelai up and back onto the couch. "What Happened there?"

"I don't know... I just got this huge dizzy sensation and felt like I was gonna pass out."

"Sweetie, when was the last time you ate?"

"I had a few pop-tarts this morning, but then I got sick and probably threw them back up."

"Okay, you sit there and ill make you some toast and ginger ale."

"Thanks Sook." Lorelai replied as she sank back down into the couch cushions. She awoke five minutes later to a knock on the door. She stood up once more- slowly this time and made her way to the door, wondering who it would be. She flung back the door and stood agape at the man standing behind it... . .

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Well? Who was it behind the door? Review and i may just let you know!

-Starla


	7. Chapter 7

I know its been a while, but here's the next chapter. Thanks to all who reviewed the previous chapts. All comments are welcome and I take all ideas into consideration... doesn't mean I use them... but I do take them in. LOL! Thanks!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

_Contd..._

"Hey." The man said, nervously.

"Hey, Chris... what's up?" Lorelai answered his greeting with caution.

"Nothing much. I was in Hartford for work and I just wanted to swing by and see how you were doing." He said, sympathetically.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" She asked with a hint of mistrust in her voice. Had someone blabbed to him about her condition? No, that was impossible. Rory was the only one who knew. Maybe he was there to weigh in on her relationship meltdown with Luke? Possibly.

"I just haven't heard back from Rory since the other day when she came to yell at Me." he added, noticing her look of trepidation.

"She yelled at you?" Lorelai asked incredulously trying to imagine her sweet little Rory yelling at her father, on her behalf. Could she have screwed up any more?

"Yeah. She can be quite the fire cracker when she wants to be." Chris took it in his stride as he laughed it off.

"Oh god, Chris I'm so sorry." Lorelai shook her head as she felt the pain in her stomach once more... surely it was guilt, right? Guilt with a side of morning sickness.

"Lor-" he started. She cut him off hoping to explain.

"She came in and I was upset. She asked where I was and I told her that I was at your place- she sort of just jumped to conclusions." Lorelai explained, hoping that Chris wouldn't lay into her too much.

"Lor- Its okay- I sorted her out." Chris soothed.

"But you shouldn't have had to sort her out. It was all my fault. I'm sorry she yelled at you. I should havegot her to listen. I'm so sorry- it's all my fault. Everything is so screwed up." a quick tear fell down her face as he placed his arms around her to comfort her sorrows.

"Lor, its okay... I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Chris soothed, a little surprised at her outburst. He noticed the tension in her body as he hugged her close, as if she were afraid to give into him completely.

"Well, Thanks... but I'm fine." Lorelai slowly wiped the tears that had threatened to fall and slowly became aware that she was in Chris' embrace.

"Have you, - Well have you spoken to Luke since the other night?" he ducked his head and looked into her eyes.

"Briefly... but we're not in such a good place at the moment." She supplied, not wanting to give away too much.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Chris stroked her arm lightly.

"No you're not, don't lie" she said softly. "You've never been okay with Luke."

"Well I'm sorry, but I don't think that guy is good enough for you." Chris stated, no longer joking about it. She deserved someone who would completely devote himself to her. Worship on the alter that is her very being.

"Trust me... sometimes he's too good for me." Lorelai reminded herself. One of the things she remembered thinking when they started out in this relationship, the fateful night that he kissed her on the porch at the Dragonfly, that this man who held her in his arms was a saint. Her best friend, her coffee god. Faithful dependable Luke. She had screwed up enough in her love life to know that there was no turning back when she took the plunge with Luke. There was no way she could live with herself if it didn't work out. A life without Luke was on par with no life at all. And now, here she was. In the arms of another man, while she was pregnant with his child. She still couldn't fathom the fact that she was going to be a mother once more, and how much she wanted to be. She knew that no matter what, this baby was more than a blessing. It was an answer to her deepest wishes.

"I don't believe it for a second." Chris said as he swept a strand of hair from her face. His eyes darted to her lips. So soft, so smooth. He could remember what it was like to be able to kiss those lips, remembered the way they slid beneath his. It would be so easy now to just capture her lips in his own, make her his again.

Lorelai quickly took a step back from Chris as she realised what he was doing. Whether or not Chris had friendly intentions, it was not good for her in her state of mind to get too close to him. Especially if there was any chance of her and Luke reconciling. She had just stepped away and Chris was about to comment when she heard the familiar rumble of an engine, and she looked up just in time so see Luke's Green truck pull up behind Chris's Volvo.

Luke pulled into the driveway and his jaw almost hit the floor of the cab in his truck. Here he was, going to speak with his ex-fiancé, to try and reconcile and talk about her pregnancy- and HE was here. Had Rory Lied? Maybe she wanted to punish him for hurting her mother... but there again; Rory wouldn't do that- would she? He pulled the truck into park and wondered if her could get away by claiming his foot 'accidently' slipped onto the accelerator and smashed into the back of the shiny silver vehicle. Or hell, 'accidently' turning the wheel to hit the guy himself. He saw the two of them there, on the porch. Her in his arms. His heart constricted, as he saw him sweep a strand of hair from her face and whisper something intimately to her. Hell, forget running him down with his truck- he was going to kill him with his bare hands. He got out of the truck, almost before he had even switched the engine off, ready for a confrontation. It was time to end it once and for all.

Lorelai looked on in shock as Luke's jaw set in a stiff position as the tips of his ears flamed red out the sides of his ball cap. Lorelai looked in fear at Chris, and then made her way down the porch steps towards the angry man.

"Luke- This isn't what you think!" She began.

"Wow, tell me what it is I think then. I guess I'm so dumb that I cannot deduce this scene for myself and see what was really in front of me all this time." Luke spat back sarcastically.

Christopher stepped in before Lorelai could answer.

"Hey Buddy! Don't talk to her like that." He spat.

"Now, that's ironic. Pal. You, sticking up for her. When was the last time you did anything for her that wasn't for your own selfish reasons?" He mocked. Trying to fathom why she would do such a thing. Why would she come to him and tell him that she was pregnant with what he assumed to be his child, and here she was with Christopher.

"Luke-" Lorelai started.

"Yeah, I get that history is against me, which may be so- but at least I know how to treat her right." Chris stepped off the porch and moved closer to Luke.

"Chris-" Lorelai began, trying to tell him that this was between her and Luke.

"Treat her right? You? Please... don't make me laugh."

"Oh yeah, cos your such a happy guy. I don't recall you being this joyous the day you punched my lights out."

"You punched him?" Lorelai looked incredulously at Luke.

"Yeah, What? Your boyfriend didn't tell you that?" Luke spat at Lorelai.

"He's not my boyfriend." Lorelai corrected.

"So, what... you've got a little friends with benefits thing going on, do ya?"

"How dare you!" Lorelai shot back just as Sookie came running out of the house brandishing a spoon.

"What the heck is going on out here?" She said as she took in the scene before her. Luke and Christopher within three feet of each other... this could not end well.

"Luke was just leaving." Christopher admonished.

"You'd Like that now, wouldn't you buddy." Luke Spat.

Lorelai made her way over to Sookie trying to escape from the madness that was happening out the front of her house. The last thing she needed was for Luke and Christopher to get into an all-out brawl in the vicinity of Babbette's house. Sooner or later she or Morey were to come out. Oh God, what if Luke said anything about the baby? She would never hear the end of it.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Christopher answered back, the two of them oblivious to Sookies appearance.

"You, No matter how many times you screw up, she always finds her way back to you. No matter that you abandonedher at sixteen with a newborn! And every other time you've come to town to upturn their lives before you flake out and bail on them once more. And no matter who the hell she is involved with or even _engaged to_ you were always there, waiting in the wings waiting for the poor shlub to mess up so you could swoop in and save the day. I guess the joke is on me then! This time I'm the poor shlub and you two belong together." He turned around to get back into his truck. Surrendering to what he thought was the inevitable.

"Wait a second? This is my fault?" Chris said. Confused.

"-Christopher, Please..." Lorelai tried to stop him, she knew that Luke was mad... he needed to calm down if they were going to have a rational conversation.

"NO! I need to say this. That night... the night that you seem to think that I Made her cheat on you, which I didn't... by the way." Luke's face fell as he tried to catch Lorelai's eye. She was looking down at her feet, distracted, as Sookie held her hand out to her friend.

"She came to my door because she needed a friend. She had nowhere else to go. And it scared me to death. I'd never seen her so upset. She was broken. The bright vivacious superwoman was nothing but an empty shell. You broke her. She was exhausted and tired of having her heart ripped out by the man who was supposed to love her. She sat there and poured her heart out about how you had shut her out of your life, refused to allow her into your relationship with your daughter. But not once did she speak ill of you. She sat there and bawled her eyes out about how _she_ had been the one to screw up. She hadn't spoken up sooner. She knew that she should have said something to you about how she was hurting, and it was her fault that you didn't know. She spoke of you how I could only ever dream that she would speak of me. And all the while she still wanted you."

"Yet she ran to you." Luke stated once again. Trying to find the words to begin to apologise, while trying to seem detached. He mentally kicked himself for not seeing how upset she had been that night. And not going after her.

"Because she had no one else."

"She had Rory, she had Sookie. She had Me. But not anymore."He replied, with the intent to walk away. She no longer needed him. She didn't need him to screw up her life anymore. She deserved more than him.

Lorelai's heart clenched. Was he giving up on them? On her? Lorelai felt as though she had been punched in the gut as she could do nothing but watch the man she loved walk away. She caught a strangled sob in her throat as she winced in pain once more- this time it felt as though her insides were tearing and she realised that this was not due to emotional turmoil. Something was not right.

Christopher caught the look on Lorelai's face as she watched Luke walk away. That look alone was enough to make him realise that this man in front of her was all she wanted in life. Not him and his inconceivable notion of how that just because they had a kid together that they belonged. No. it was Luke or nothing for her.

He was just about to start after the man when he heard a clunk and Sookie shrieking Lorelai's name.He turned back just in time to see her collapse to the grass as she clutched her stomach in agony.Wondering whether she was going through emotional or physical pain he was at her side in a split second.

Luke had also heard Sookie's call and turned around in time to see the look of horror crossing Lorelai's face before she fell to the ground. His honourable intentions to simply walk away and let her live a better life without him were pushed aside as he ran to her.

Lorelai clenched and tried to move into the foetal position, hoping to ease the pain, to no avail. Sookie was trying to get her to point out the problem but all Lorelai could do was fear for her baby's life. Chris dropped to her side as did Luke. Luke. He was still there. She reached out for him. Hoping that he would take her hand. Fearing for their child.

Luke looked on as she tried to take his hand and he enveloped it in his own. It was cold and clammy, but he held firm. Their eyes met and he saw that she had unshed tears clouding her own; he knew at that moment that this had something to do with the baby. His fears were only confirmed as she whispered his name and in a strangled sob said one single word.

"Baby."

Then it all went black.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Wow... long scene. Don't worry... im not that much of a sadist. Things will lighten up. I just needed to have some kind of fall-out between Luke and Chris. Please review if you want me to continue.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Okay Okay! I know its been absolutely forever since i updated and im sorry... but i had a massive case of writers block up until yesterday, so i spent most of the time yesterday (and many hours in the morning) writing up a storm for all you lovely people who reviewed and wanted me to continue. Im sorry i havn't replied to any individual reviews- but its bad enought that i hardly have the time to write the story! LOL! So im doing another 'Blanket' thankyou for all of those**_ **_wonderful reviews!_**

_**Im also gonna add in here- this chapteri ncludes some medical stuff and i just wanted to say that i am in no way a professional in the medical industry. I have done a small (minimal) amount of research on Endometreosis and if this is wrong in anyway, or it offends anyone by lessening the severity of the actual condition- I apologise in advance. I have made Lorelai's situation in complete fictional circumstance as i am not even aware if this is at all possible. But Like i said, this fiction is for the entertainment of others (as well as myself) so please enjoy and try not to focus on the technical side of things.**_

_**And Now- On with it! This is by far the longest chapter yet- so review guys!**_

_**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**_

Luke held her the whole way to the hospital as Sookie directed Chris, maeuvering them in and out of the traffic stealthily laying on the horn once or twice when someone in front of them decided to do something like go the speed limit. All of them preying that she would be okay. Looking back, Luke would assume that Chris had to be mental driving so fast through peak hour traffic on the highway, but they were all too concerned to worry about matters such as that. Lorelai however sat huddled against Luke in the backseat shedding silent tears as the throbbing pain in her belly increased and decreased, coming in waves as she prayed for her baby. He held her tight for what seemed like the first time in a long time as he kissed the top of her head and reassured her with soft words that she would be okay. This was as close as they had come to touching in such a long time that Lorelai revelled in his embrace. However saddened by the circumstances- it was good to have his arms around her once more as she clung to his soft flannel shirt in a desperate attempt to keep him close to her. She always marvelled at how his familiar scent could ease her. The comforting smell of tea tree (as was his 'simple' soap) and of course feint whiffs of burgers, fries coffee and everything that Lorelai considered her lifeline, but there was something else. Something that she could never quite put her finger on. Something that was distinctly Luke. This was the scent that drove her crazy with longing and made her want to weep at the same time for what she had lost.

He had felt the tension in her body subside as a wave of pain had dissipated and he clutched her tighter as she cried into his chest. His arms were wrapped around her body and she seemed smaller that she has in the past. Luke could tell that she had lost some weight, which he could only misconstrue as bad for her and bad for the baby- but he knew that when Lorelai was worried about something or hurting deeply she worked through most of the times when she would usually be starving. She stopped taking care of herself and began caring about everything else but herself. Luke wondered if that had been her mentality when she started avoiding him in the last months leading up to the ultimatum. Is that why she had hidden behind her work claiming 'late night shifts' and 'functions'. Had she really had those responsibilities at the inn or was she simply avoiding him? He almost scoffed at himself. Of course she was avoiding him, after the way he treated her? He would avoid himself if he could. This was almost what he had been doing. Avoiding his feelings. Avoiding the inevitable meeting of his daughter and fiancé. Avoiding the confrontation between Anna and Lorelai- but at what cost. Was his desire to prove Anna wrong in his abilities as a father worth loosing the woman he loved?

Simply put- No. Nothing was worth that. Sure, April deserved to have her father in her life- but that didn't mean that Luke had to exclude Lorelai from that life, no matter how protective Anna had been. April had wanted to find her father and become a part of his life, and his life included Lorelai. And now, also, their baby. April was going to have a little brother or sister and Luke was going to make sure that she was a part of it. He sat pondering the future with April and his and Lorelai's child as he prayed that they would both be okay

Once at the hospital, he gathered her up in his arms once more and strided towards the emergency room doors as Chris found suitable parking.

"Please help! I need a doctor over here!" Luke stated as he walked through the double doors holding a sobbing Lorelai in his arms as she clenched him tighter as the pain took hold once more. In reaction to her tensing he hugged her tighter to his body and kissed her forehead as EMT's fussed around him gathering supplies and a gurney for her.

The emergency staff reacted quickly and got Lorelai onto a gurney faster than Luke could react. The nurse who had called to the staff took out a small torch and looked into Lorelai's eyes as she held her stomach with one hand and squeezed Luke's hand in the other.

"Ma'am? Can you tell me what's wrong" she asked in a clear voice.

"Hurts-" she managed weakly.

"Can you tell me where?" the nurse persisted. To which Lorelai could only muster a strangled sob as she clenched in pain once more.

"Her stomach" Luke stated. "She's been holding her stomach she's pregnant and she fell down after she screamed in pain and we just drove her straight here."

"Are you her husband?" The nurse looked at Luke pointedly and he knew that it would be too long and too exhausting to try and explain their relationship so he answered shortly

"Fiancé"

"Okay, you can follow us in- we need to run some tests and give her something for the pain. Do you know if she suffers from any allergies?"

"Just penicillin" Luke replied quickly, stunned that he actually remembered from one of their inane conversations. Aw, hell. Who was he kidding? He heard every word she spoke, more often than not, and stored it away for any future reference- in case she mentioned it later. Thus was his custom when it came to Lorelai. It was the only way he could keep up with her many pop culture references and movie quotes.

"And is this her first pregnancy?"

"No, but her last one was twenty years ago." A Look of surprise came over the nurse's face initially, but she seemed to take it in her stride.

As soon as the words left his mouth he thought of Rory, she would need to know what was happening with her mother and he questioned the nurse.

"Shit, I have to call her daughter. Make sure she knows what's going on."

Out of the blue Luke felt a hand pat his back and he became aware once more that Sookie was standing by his side.

"I'll call Rory, Hun. You just go." Sookie said quickly as Luke turned toward the doctor, praying that question time was over and that he could now follow Lorelai through the ER doors.

"Now, Mr-?"

"Danes. Luke. Luke Danes"

""Right, Mr Danes, someone will need to fill out these forms also"

"I can do that too." Sookie piped in once more. "And once Rory gets here she can help me fill in the blanks. I'll call Emily and Richard as well." Sookie added, seeming to realise exactly what Luke's next thought was. "Don't worry Luke, we'll sort it all out at this end, you just worry about Lorelai- and that kid of yours." Sookie beamed preying that her best friend and her best friend's child would pull through. Lorelai was strong and healthy, she reminded herself, and wouldn't go down without a fight.

Luke followed the nurse blindly through the doors and was hit with the sudden feeling of de ja vous which reminded him of why he hated hospitals.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Lorelai woke to the sound of feint beeping. The bed was unfamiliar and the room was bleak and cold. She had a very vague recollection of what had happened once she had gotten to the hospital, but not so much after that. She remembered the doctors and nurses whizzing by, she remembered the Injection and poking and prodding in her stomach. She remembered... Oh God... her Stomach? The Baby!!! Was it okay? Did she lose the baby? She looked around at the machines in the room and found one a little out of place. Well as out of place as she knew, given her limited experience with hospitals, but this machine was said to be recording her "FHM" and all signs were coloured green, which she figured meant good. "FHM" what could that be? She began to panic. Where was Rory? Where was Sookie... and more importantly, where was Luke? She found herself hoping ant preying that he was here, and hoping that their baby was okay. Tears sprang to her eyes as her breath hitched in a strangled sob as the bubble of panic rose once more. She could even see her heart rate go up on her own monitor, recording the panic attack as it began to set in.

Suddenly a voice broke her reverie and allowed her to relax for a second.

""Would somebody please tell me what's going on here? Is she okay? Why won't she wake up?"

Luke.

He was here. He stayed with her. He cared. And now he was badgering the hospital staff in telling him what was wrong with her.

"I'm sorry Mr Danes. The doctor has asked me to wait until she's back from rounds to let him explain her condition." The nurse answered a hint of trepidation in her voice as she imagined Luke looking menacing to a poor young nurse. In fact Luke would look menacing to anyone who wasn't aware about the soft mushy centre beneath the wall of flannel and grumpy stares. It was one of the many things she loved about him. The fact that she got to see a side of Luke that he only trusted with so few people. Or he used to, anyway. Now with all that has happened between the two of them, she wasn't so sure he trusted her anymore- and that's what hurt the most about their separation.

"Condition? She has a Condition? That's bad right?" Luke asked with panic in his voice.

"I'm sorry sir, I will page Dr. Watt once more but you need to calm down. You're not doing your fiancé or your baby any good by yelling at my staff."

"So the baby is okay?" he asked, ignoring the nurse's request to calm down.

"I don't know, you will have to wait for the doctor." The nurse replied, getting more frustrated now.

"Please tell me something. Anything. I can't lose her." he stated softly that she almost didn't hear him. Her own eyes filled with tears as she realised how much she didn't want to be lost in the first place, but that didn't stop him from pushing her away.

There was a hint of panic in his voice that made Lorelai realise that he cared so much about the tiny life growing inside of her, just as much as she did. It was their little miracle. But would a miracle be enough to save them from the pain and anguish of the past month? Would they be able to sort through their difficulties and be together again? Would he finally be able to let her in?

Doubtful, Very doubtful. She figured. After all hadn't he been the one to shut her out, to not trust her enough to let him have time with his daughter and not monopolize her with her 'cartoon' ways? Not to trust that she would ever be unfaith full to him. Not to trust her love for him?

"I'm sorry, sir. You'll have to wait for the doctor." The Nurse's voice cut into her mind's babble and she heard Luke sigh as the nurse walked away and he turned to make his way back into her room.

She took the moment to examine his appearance. His face looked worn and pale against his dark hair. his three day old stubble (and she could tell that it had been exactly three days since his face had seen a razor- one of the little intricacies of their relationship had made her privy to such information) stood out as she took in his ragged appearance. The worry and doubt in his eyes allowing her to see the raw emotion they held there. The concern, the love...

But his mistrust in her in the month that led them to be apart was more painful than anything and would not be easy to make up for... but she remembered the way that he held her on the way to the hospital. So gentle but firm with reassurance. So tender yet fierce in the way he held her tight. The fear of losing her or the baby shone brightly in his eyes as he made his way across the room to sit in the chair next to her- It was obvious that he had already taken up residence on this chair before as his black cap (Why in god's name did he switch?) sat there and he had to remove it before sitting down and placing his head in his hands. He sighed heavily, willing himself not to shed anymore tears. Lorelai was here, she was fine- or so she seemed. They would have told him if she were not, right? This was what was taking its toll on Luke- not knowing. The uncertainty of it all.

Lorelai looked on as she saw the man she had always counted on, the one she depended on- the man she loved, break down. Not in a sobbing, blubbering way that women do, but silent tears that filled his eyes and spilled over his lashes and made their way down his cheeks.

Lorelai sighed softly, but just loud enough for him to hear as his head turned and his eyes went wide noticing that her eyes were trained on him.

"Lorelai?" he whispered softly.

"Luke... She answered groggily. "What happened?"

"Shhh... don't try to sit up. The nurse said you would be a little groggy from the pain medication." Luke soothed as he saw her try to sit up.

""Oh Luke, I was so scared. What happened?" She looked up at him with fresh tears forming in her eyes.

"I don't know. We have to wait for the doctor. What do you remember? You were zoning in and out for a minute there."

"I don't remember much. I remember you and Christopher, fighting on the lawn. And then Sookie came out and you... you walked away." she added the last bit in a whisper. Her eyes filling with tears as she remembered his anger. His accusations.

"You still think I slept with Christopher, Don't you?" she asked- rhetorically, as she knew he would still deny it. She remembered his harsh words out the front of her house earlier that evening. Something about 'friends with benefits' and how he was a sucker for having loved her.

"Lorelai, that doesn't matter anymore." he reached out to take her pale hand into his own, but she quickly moved it out of reach as fresh tears formed in her eyes.

"Lorelai? He questioned softly.

"What about the baby?" She asked quickly, avoiding his gaze.

"I don't know... the doctor should-" He spoke as he calmly tried to fathom why she would not let him take her hand and why she would not look him in the eye.

Just as he spoke the last few words the door flew open as the doctor walked in.

"Mrs. Gilmore, I presume?" She asked. Lorelai debated whether or not to correct her on the assumption that she and Luke were married, but decided against it as she was too anxious to deal with semantics and worried about her baby.

"Well, first thing is first. My name is Dr. Wells and I was your treating physician this evening."

"Dr. Please tell me... is my baby okay?" Lorelai answered desperately.

"Your baby is just fine. That machine there is actually monitoring your Baby's heartbeat and it looks to be very strong." FHM- Foetal Heart monitor... it clicked so vividly in Lorelai's mind as her body was washed in relief.

Luke and Lorelai both let out a breath that they didn't realise they were holding in. The baby was okay, Lorelai seemed fine. And sure enough the machine that Lorelai had been questioning made all the more sense now and the beeps continued steadily. To think that there was this little tiny living human inside of her. Relying on her to keep him or her safe and nourished. To know that the child within her was created by love and would forever serve as a reminder of that love.

"So what happened?" Lorelai asked as Luke sat down in the chair across the room, still relieved about the baby, and let out a long breath.

"Mrs. Gilmore, have you ever been diagnosed with a condition called endometriosis?" The doctor asked whilst jotting down things in her chart regarding her baby and her own records.

"No... Why?"

"You're showing specific symptoms that are associated with the disorder so we are fairly certain that is what it is."

"What is it? Is it harmful for my baby?"

"Endometriosis is a common condition which is characterised by the growth of endometrial in places that are outside the uterus. Normally with bad cases, its symptoms are displayed during the woman's monthly cycle where the increase of hormones causes the excessive growth and eventual breakdown of the endometreoium which, I'm sure you can imagine from the discomfort you felt before, can be quite painful."

The doctor continued.

"Most women diagnosed with the disorder tend to find that falling pregnant actually relieves the symptoms as there is no monthly cycle, but in some cases - like yours- the excess endometrium continues to grow and shed, just as normal. Can you tell me if you have had your period whilst pregnant?"

"I had some light bleeding yesterday, which would have been my normal cycle-but hardly enough to warrant 'a period'"

"Well, sometimes that's all it takes. Did you continue your cycle whilst pregnant with your first child?"

"No... But I had Rory so young- I don't even think I had a 'regular' cycle anyways."

"Okay... well that seems common with many young mothers so all in all I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"But why now... if you thought I could have already been diagnosed? Why haven't the symptoms showed before?" Lorelai asked.

"In many cases the condition is present- but not active so much as to cause pain. It basically feeds off of hormones that are released into the body every month but Some women don't even find out that they have endometriosis until they have trouble getting pregnant, as it is also known as the biggest cause of infertility in women of reproductive age. Did you have any trouble falling?"" The doctor inquired politely.

"Um..." Lorelai staggered. "We didn't exactly plan it, kind of took us by surprise."

"So Obviously not the case." The doctor smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Trust me, even when it is planned- it still takes a while for the shock to wear off." she continued.

"But, why is she showing symptoms now?" Luke chimed in. for the first time, obviously concerned about Lorelai's well-being.

"Well, like I said, the endometrial uses hormones to grow and in this case it could have been the extra hormones your body is producing due to the pregnancy. How far along are you? It might help to give us an idea of where your body's hormone levels are at?

"Um, I think I'm about nine weeks." Lorelai answered shyly, determined to stay focused and not look Luke in the eye. She had worked out the approximate date of conception herself and it dated back to the time around Luke returned from his field trip with April. She had to stop herself as she thought of the night he came home, and how she told him she missed him- repeatedly.

"You think?" the doctor confirmed, with an air of doubt in her voice.

"Well... I haven't exactly been checked out yet. Things have been pretty hectic at work, and like I said this wasn't really planned so I've had a hard time trying to get away. I have an appointment with my doctor for Tuesday to see if he can recommend someone for me." Lorelai looked sheepish. She knew that it was a lame excuse... but she couldn't bring herself to seeing someone about the baby- making it more real- when she and Luke were in such a bad place.

"Well, we do recommend that a woman should see someone straight away if she even suspects pregnancy- I understand the concerns of everyday life. If it's okay with you and your husband I would be happy to be your doctor for the duration of your pregnancy."

"Oh, we're not married." Lorelai interjected. Deciding not to let it slide this time.

"Oh, forgive me. I saw the ring and just assumed" the doctor nodded at the silver engagement ring on her left hand that she had not yet taken off. Luke noted her discomfort in the situation as she shrugged and quietly muttered.

"Yeah, well..." Lorelai looked down at her hands and the ring in question as she felt her stomach drop and her eyes mist over. She sniffed and cleared her head- determined not to let Luke see her at her worst.

"Okay." the doctor said cheerfully as she broke the tension in the room. "Lorelai, we are going to have to run some more tests which will include an ultrasound to the area around your abdomen. Ill also do a routine scan of your baby just to check things out. We are going to have to keep you in overnight just so we can keep an eye on you. And once we find out how bad the endometriosis is, we will work out our plan of attack." She smiled as she reassured Lorelai but Luke asked

"And how would you do that?"

"Well, if it's minor we can schedule a larpiscopy procedure to remove the offending cyst"

"Whoa, procedure? What is larpiscopy? Wont that hurt the baby?" Luke looked concerned.

"No, Larpiscopy is by another name- keyhole surgery. It's not dangerous and is around 85 percent effective in cases like these." this seemed to calm Luke down.

"What about in the mean time?" Lorelai asked. If I go home and have those pains again could it hurt my baby?"

Not specifically, but the pain it causes can put it under a certain amount of distress which later in the pregnancy can trigger early labour- which is something we want to avoid at all costs. But if we decide we need to do the procedure it will most likely be scheduled within the next twenty-four hours." The doctor explained.

"Unless you have any further questions, I'll get the nurse to set up the sonogram equipment." When both parties remained silent Dr. Wells smiled and left the room with Lorelai's Chart.

Luke and Lorelai simply sat there, Lorelai avoiding Luke's eyes as she continued to fiddle with her engagement ring.

"So... Phew. Thank god you're going to be okay." It sounded stupid, even to his own ears- but he realised that this was the first time that they had been in the same room together since the night that she told him about the baby. The night he over reacted and sent her packing. Man did he feel like a fool. He knew that even if she had slept with Christopher, she was truly hurting that night and he had only made it worse.

"Yeah..." Lorelai added distantly. She was also thinking about that night. The way he looked at her with disgust, the accusations, and the hurt. How could he believe that she had slept with Christopher? Didn't he trust her? Did he not trust their love? Obviously not.

"And the baby is fine too." Luke added as he saw the look of hurt in her eyes turn to one of anger. He saw them well up with unshed tears but still she said nothing.

"And- nine weeks... wow. I guess that means-"He slowly trailed off... unable to put into words the passion and heat and longing of the night he (supposed) that they conceived. He had just returned from April's trip. It was late and he had considered calling her to announce his homecoming, but decided against it as he was sure she would have been fast asleep and decided to call in the morning. In the end he couldn't take the fact that she was so close- yet so far, that he practically ran to her house, walked upstairs and found her sitting on the bed reading by the light of a lamp. He always found her sexiest like this, relaxed, content and those glasses made her look like a naughty librarian! She had smiled so brightly too, he had wondered if he was simply dreaming. He had not seen a smile like that on her in a long time. Too long. In matter of seconds they were furiously tearing at clothing whilst in a hard passionate kiss as he tailed his large hands over her body and they had made sweet passionate love all night.

When he had trailed off however- Lorelai had thought that the next words out of his mouth were going to be "Its mine". She thought about how he had looked at her that night in the diner. The hurt and disgust. As if he had thought that she had come to tell him that the mistake she had supposedly made with Christopher had resulted in a child. The thought that he had not trusted her, not believed in her love for him, was enough to make her sick to her stomach. So before he could continue she lashed out, ready to sting him.

"What does it mean, Luke? Huh? Were you going to say that it means the baby is yours? That you can breathe a little easier knowing that Christopher had nothing to do with this?" she pointed crudely towards her stomach.

"Lorelai- Wait..." Luke began, but she was having none of it.

"No Luke. I'm sick and tired of waiting. Waiting for you to catch up. Waiting for you to realise how miserable I've been since I found out about April. Waiting for you to tell me that you're still in this with me and I'm not the only one trying to hang on for dear life. Waiting for you to turn around and realise that we were no longer on the road to starting our future."

"We were beginning our future. We were engaged for Christ's sake. We were creating a home to live in-"

"A Lot of good that did us. Did you even realise that you hadn't spent a night with me in our supposed home? That I virtually spent every night alone in the bed WE picked out together, had to brush my teeth every day in a bathroom designed for two people, cried myself to sleep when I woke up and reached out for you and you weren't there. I just had to sit there looking at these half unpacked boxes that you brought over one day then stopped before you came and took them back to the apartment. Then I got instructions on when I could go to the diner- or more specifically you left me a message saying when I couldn't be at the diner! I guess Anna was right- being engaged means nothing."

"When did you speak to Anna?" he asked harshly.

"After April's Birthday party, I thought everything would start to get better. You had begun to let me in to the life you had built separately. But as soon as Anna registered her discomfort with the situation, you get all defensive and retreat back into a life where we don't talk about you, or April or Anna, hell that's if we talk at all."

"Well what did you expect me to do? April is Anna's daughter. My name isn't on any register, which means that I have no rights. If Anna was uncomfortable with my lifestyle she could take April away and I would have no say in it whatsoever."

"Oh, and what kind of lifestyle did I create with you that would make Anna see that?" Lorelai spat back, emphasising the word lifestyle. "Was it my excessive drinking or maybe my drug addiction... or, I know... it was my stint into child pornography that you thought would have made Anna Uncomfortable having me in your life?"

"Lorelai, Be serious... for god's sake." Luke Yelled

"I am being serious, Luke. What was so bad about me? Did you see me as an unfit mother, was that it? A bad role model for your daughter because I got pregnant at sixteen? Would you life be so terrible if you married me?"

"That is ridiculous- and you know it."

"No, Luke I don't know. Because you won't tell me anything! You couldn't even tell me when she came into the diner and you found out she was your daughter. I had to walk in on her filling salt and pepper shakers."

"Because I was afraid."

"Of what? The fact that some woman made the mistake of not telling you the truth! The fact that you had a daughter? Oh, yeah... 'Cos I'm exactly the type to ditch a guy because he has a kid!"

"Would you stop with Anna and April? It's not Aprils Fault!"

"I KNOW it's not her fault. She is incredible, and she deserves to have you in her life. But you didn't even tell me Luke. Then when you did it was only because I accidently came in when you thought I'd be at work. And I get that you needed time with her. That you needed to learn how to be a father on your own- but you couldn't even talk to me about how you were feeling. You just holed up in your apartment and I'm lucky if I even get to speak to you, let alone see you. Meanwhile, the whole town gets to know this little girl, miss patty tried to coheres her into doing ballet, Lane plays monopoly with her in the diner, and Kirk- _Kirk- _the man who despises little children and all they stand for- talks shop to her about her website. The biggest thing to ever happen to you and you lie to me, act all vague, scare me into thinking that you were having second thoughts about marrying me-"

"I said I wanted to marry you- isn't my word enough."

""NO! Not when your word gets suddenly dictated by Anna and she decides whether or not you marry me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What did she say to you?"

"She said that she wouldn't be comfortable with me around April until we were married. And then you said you weren't comfortable setting a date to get married until Anna was comfortable having me around April. Don't you get it? We were just going to go around in circles for god knows how long and it was KILLING me Luke. I wanted to DIE!"

Luke stood, shocked at her words as she began to break down into painful gut-wrenching sobs. He realised that he also had tears running down his cheeks and suddenly realised that they weren't exactly in a private place discussing their problems at a normal volume. He wiped his eyes and went to the bed side to take her in his arms. Before he could, however. She looked up at him with her pain filled eyes and asked.

"Did you even really want to marry me Luke? Or did you just agree to it because I was in a bad place with Rory and my parents? Did you even really love me?" and his heart broke at her uncertainty in his love.

"Don't be crazy, you know I love you." He told her softly.

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't you trust me? Then why did you think that I didn't love you? That I didn't love you enough to want to help you when April came into your life that I didn't love you enough to _want_ to help. That I would EVER sleep with Christopher to hurt you?" She cried.

"I admit, that was a mistake." Luke sighed- frustrated.

"A mistake? You made a mistake when you thought about whether or not I love you?"

Luke sighed as he tried to explain how stupid he had been, but she cut him off.

"We can't make mistakes anymore. It hurts too much. And there is too much at stake this time. This isn't just me and you anymore. We have to think about what's best for the baby. And maybe that means we shouldn't be together."

Luke's heart caught in his throat as he tried to digest her words. Was she really ending them once and for all? And could he simply walk away? She continued as he processed.

"I spoke to Lorraine at the real estate office. She said there were some nice bungalows in Beacon Falls available to be moved into immediately."

"Wait? Move? Why?"

"Luke, we can't do this. I can't do this if we are in the same town. It hurts too much being in the same place, knowing that there is a good possibility that I will see you."

"So you're going to leave stars hollow with my kid and never come back?" Luke got up off the bed and began pacing. "You're just going to raise this kid all on your own?"

"Luke-"this time Luke got angry and began on a patented 'Luke rant' cutting her off.

"This is unbelievable! Bad enough that you think we shouldn't be together... but you're going to pack up and leave and raise my kid in some bungalow in Beacon Falls? What the hell is a bungalow anyways? People just make up these hooty tooty names for apartments and expect people to pay outta the ass for 'em. And how are you gonna afford stuff without my help? I mean medical bills and driving yourself to and from the hospital and then there's the crib and the change table- and knowing you, you will want to paint and decorate a nursery and pregnant women can't paint... I know that much at least... and then what about when the kid starts school? Are you gonna send him or her to Chilton? Are you gonna be able to afford that? And then there are extracurricular activities- what if it's a girl and she wants to be some kind of super freakishly good ballet person- I know those lessons don't come cheap. Or if it's a he, and he wants to be some kind of superstar and do all kinds of stuff that costs heaps of money? Are you gonna let me help then? Let me ask you- am I gonna get a say in any of this or are you just gonna conveniently forget to add my name to the kids birth certificate and the only way ill know for sure is in ten years time the kid finds me and pulls out my hair for some science project?" Luke's rant ended and he was red in the face and breathing heavily as he got madder. Lorelai however was getting madder on her own at his blatant disregard of what she was going to say stated simply.

"I'm not Anna." She looked up at him and among the unshed tears in her eyes he saw fury.

"What?" Luke spat, unable to tell where this was going.

"I'm not Anna." She said more forcefully- trying her hardest to keep her tone even as she fought back the rage she felt inside. "How could you even consider that I would condone what she did to you? I would NEVER keep you from your child, no matter what. And the way you're accusing me hurts, Luke."

He stood there, anger dissipating as he realised that she was right. She would never keep him from his child. Hell, she would always encourage Rory to give her dad a chance no matter how many times he screwed with their hearts and heads, so why would it be any different this time. Lorelai took his silence as a non committal answer and continued.

"What I was going to say was that it is too hard for now to be near you, and that I wanted some space. I just can't live in that house right now, knowing that it was meant to be for the both of is. .. But don't you ever accuse me of being her. I still want you to be in the baby's life and I was going to suggest that we attend things together like doctor's appointments or maybe I could come into the diner for lunch every day so you could see how fat I'm getting or we could set up bi-weekly lunches or something. Now- not so much."

"So you're just going to raise this baby alone?" he asked in disbelief and shock that she would so easily reconsider his part in their child's life.

"Why not? I've done it before" she spat scathingly. And she truly believed that she had done a great job with Rory, no matter how difficult it had been.

"But you need-"Luke began but Lorelai cut him off before he could finish.

"I will need lots of things- But I don't need you." The scathing look in her eyes told Luke that she was not kidding, no matter how irrational she was being.

Stung, Luke took a step and retrieved his hat from its chair and without a second glance walked out of the room as Lorelai stared at his retreating form. As soon as he had slammed the door her rigid body became limp as she sobbed into her hands.

_**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**_

_**So what did you think? I know that this was a sad chapter- but as i have been saying from the start- all will be right in the end. I believe in happily ever after- i just believe that we have to fight like hell to get there. And Lorelai did not show enough anger about Luke shutting her out in the show- so i took a little creative licence her! So Please review! **_


	9. Chapter 9

Luke spent the next week seething. Frustrated by her lack of interest in having him in their kids' life, annoyed that she could so easily dismiss him from her own life, and ashamed in the way he had reacted. Not just in the hospital either. He was ashamed about how he had jumped to conclusions when she had told him she was at Christopher's. He was ashamed of the way he treated her when she had told him about the baby. Ashamed that he had doubted the child's paternity. And in turn doubted his own feelings.

�

Lorelai had had her minor procedure the day after their fight and had come through with flying colours (or so he was told by Sookie who was determined to rectify whatever damage has surpassed the golden couple) and had taken the week off to relax and begin her house hunting expedition. Luke was still furious that she was intent on moving, but he knew that once Lorelai got an idea into her head, there was not much anyone could do to stop it. He thought that if she moved away - their chances of surviving this as a couple would decrease further than ever and there was no way their relationship would�prevail.�Luke was in a crappy mood all week, snarling at customers (Kirk especially) and burning food. It was almost like their first break up, except instead of being angry at the world in general- he was angry at himself.

�

Lorelai on the other hand was once again throwing herself into her work and hunting for a home in beacon falls. Ensuring�she had a good night's rest and plenty of healthy food, Sookie had been accompanying her on many expeditions, for moral support and a second eye. �But anything that the real estate agent showed her was all wrong. Too big, or too small- too hot too many windows not enough sunlight too many stairs- unfriendly neighbours- the list went on about all the bad things about the places that she never even got to thinking about the good parts. To her they were all bad. None of them were the crap shack and none of them were in stars hollow.

�

The summer season at the inn had also began to set in so Both Lorelai and Sookie were forced to work extra hours a week to accommodate the 100 percent capacity rate the inn was experiencing. Sookie would hole herself up in the kitchen and order her wait staff about as Lorelai would�man the�reception desk�and order Michel and the maids about. Only once Michel had been sated and the maids on duty would Lorelai enter her office, lock the door and fall apart�

�

Despite their loneliness the two had a few things to ward off the depression and keep the�pain at bay-�Their daughters.�The two had to admit that no matter what their romantic situation- the one thing they would always have in common would be their daughter's ability to make a situation seem not so bad. April and Rory both knew the hard time their parents were having. They both noticed the dark circles under their eyes from sleepless nights, their general demeanour and stance showed their unhappiness and there was no more spark. The both were tired of the 'I'm okays' and the 'don't worry about me's' and the tired smiles that no longer met their eyes.

April did not know about the baby, nor did she know the details behind the split of stars hollows golden couple- all she knew was that he father was no longer the lively soul he was before the day he told her that he and his fiancé were no longer getting married. And Luke not being that lively to begin with there was a noticeable difference. 

Unfortunately there was another who had noticed the change in Luke- Anna. And it wasn't until she was absolutely desperate for a 'sitter' that she would allow her daughter to see her father. Anna's mom had been sick- and rather than drag April to New Mexico and out of school for three weeks- she reluctantly allowed Luke to put his new dad skills to the test and take her in. April was so oblivious to the reluctance of her mother- just so excited about spending time with her dad in the eccentric town of stars hollow- which, as it were, was in the midst of planning for the annual 'end of summer extravaganza', barbershop singers and all. Luke could only hope that the group had learnt another song since last time as 'lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer – whilst catchy- only served as another annoyance to Luke during the first festival, and subsequent festivals since- which Lorelai had shamelessly dragged him to and forced him to have a good time. Another reason he was not looking to this festival- it would be his first without Lorelai. Well- the first he would be dragged to and actually have to put on a happy face for the other female in his life. 'The only female in your life' the little voice in his head taunted.

Despite�the fact that her boyfriend was in London and she was starting school soon, Rory made the trip to Stars Hollow to hang with her mom, visit an also expecting Lane, and enjoy the crazy antics of the town she called home during one of its nutty festivals which served only the purpose of filling September. 

Lorelai had known that April was in town, she had found out from the various gossips around town. They had actually told her as if they were warning her of the young girl's presence so as not to hurt Lorelai if she had happened to run into her around the town. Many had assumed, and assumed correct in part, that the presence of Luke's daughter had been a major factor in the break up. Many suspected that Lorelai would resent the little girl for 'stealing' her man away and would talk about how Anna should have kept the girl away from stars hollow and in turn from an unsuspecting Luke. Lorelai hated that. She hated that people made it out so that she would be the bitchy fiancée (ex-fiancé, she reminded herself) who would want her Luke all to herself. Lorelai thought the exact opposite. She disliked Anna for the way she had handled her pregnancy and not told Luke about his daughter. She disliked the way that Luke had to find out about April and then subsequently fight for a position in his daughter's life. And she hated the way that Luke had handled the situation. She was still hurting from the sting of being pushed out of the life of the man she loved. And she felt horrible about the way she had so carelessly dismissed him from her unborn child's life. She knew that Luke would make an amazing father- made an amazing father, but she was afraid. Afraid of trusting, afraid of loving, afraid of getting burned once again.

"So I wonder if Taylor has had his customary 'before festival' freak-out yet?" Rory's voice broke through Lorelai's musings as they made their way to the town centre.

"Wouldn't be a festival without a pre-party Taylor Doose moment." Lorelai followed, not really getting into the spirit. In truth she had only ventured out today because of Rory. Lorelai would have been happier to just sit at home and relax, but her daughter had insisted they attend.

�

"Combine that with the subsequent Kirk flip out and you got yourself a festival!"

�

"One for the masses."

�

"Not to be missed. Or suffer the consequences."

�

"Death?" Rory questioned

�

"By lecture from Taylor on proper town function etiquette." Lorelai replied with a small giggle.

�

Rory smiled sadly�realising that this was the first sign of the old Lorelai that Rory had seen in weeks. The small bit of banter was enough for them to forget the crises of late and begin to enjoy themselves.

�

"Mom?" Rory asked softly, waiting for a response from Lorelai.

�

"Yeah sweets?"

�

"You're gonna be okay, right?" Rory's voice had regressed suddenly to that of her childhood and broke Lorelai's heart.

�

"I don't know babe. I sure hope so." She answered truthfully.

�

"I just want to let you know- I'm happy about becoming a big sister."

�

"I'm Glad."

�

"Are you happy about the baby?"

�

"Yeah. I Mean- I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm super dooper excited- I'm scared, and hurt and nauseous all the time- but ultimately- I'm happy."

�

"Good."

�

Lorelai offering her daughter a smile in return as she reached out and entwined her arm in Rorys and held firmly.

�

�

"So..." Rory started. "How much slack did Taylor cut Kirk with preparations for the festival - considering he's getting married tomorrow?"

�

Crap."Oh, I forgot about the wedding." Lorelai stuttered, bewildered at her own loss of memory.

�

"How could you forget? The posters have been up all week. 'Come one, Come all!' they say. I think they did that to avoid paying for the cost of invitations, even though Kirk works at the printers." Rory mused while chuckling slightly.

�

I don't have anything to wear!" Lorelai said the first thing that came to mind as to how to get out of going to the event. Sure she had forgot about it- but she had been couped up in the house- mot willing to talk to nosy townies who had finally been clued in on the breakup between the diner owner and inn proprietor. She didn't need any more speculation about her visit to the hospital last week.

�

"You have heaps of stuff... I'm sure you will find something!"

�

"I think what you mean to say is that I HAD heaps of stuff!"

�

"Had, as in you no longer have?"

�

"Yep."

�

"Mom, did you throw out all of your clothes?"

�

"No. Do you honestly think I would do that?"

�

"True."

�

"I stored them all in boxes in the garage."

�

"What?"

�

"Well, everything reminded me of Luke, so I had to put it away where I couldn't see it every day, just mocking me. And everything I left... well, let's just say I'm not fitting into my jeans as well as I might be pulling off today."

�

"Awe, is my little Brosis beginning to make its presence known?"

�

"Brosis?"

�

"Brother or sister... I figured I had a fifty-fifty chance of it being one or the other."

�

"That's my little Ivy league!"

�

"No, Seriously mom. I think you need to instil upon this kid that the most important thing that he or she can learn in this lifetime is that big sister knows best!"

�

"Well, he or she will definitely be one smart kid with that knowledge."

�

"So anyways, back to your clothes?"

�

"Yeah... they're getting a little tight."

�

"So what do you say to going shopping in the morning for something for you to wear, then we can come home and get ready for the wedding together?"

�

"You really are smart!"

�

"I know."

�

�

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

�

"Caesar! Can I get that order of fries up ASAP?" Luke called to his chef through the window hole that separated the main preparation bench to the front of the diner. People had been coming in droves since the stupid event outside had begun that afternoon and so his afternoon had dragged on, despite the busy lunch rush.

�

"Dad!"

�

"Yeah sweetie?"

�

"You said that we would be ready to go to the festival in half an hour."

�

"I know, it's only been... "

�

"Precisely fifty-four minutes and twenty three seconds."

�

"How the heck did you calculate that so fast."

�

"I'm thirteen, not three... I can tell time."

�

"My mistake."

�

"So? Are we gonna go soon."

�

"Um, Yeah... Just a sec."

�

"Dad..."

�

"Okay okay. I know I said id go with you... but it's kind of busy in here and I can't leave until Lane gets here to take over."

�

"And she was due in precisely eighteen minutes and fifty-three�seconds ago."

�

"I know, but she called and said the doctor had been running late and she was gonna get her as soon as she could. I am cutting her some slack. She's not as nimble these days... and twice as cranky."

�

"But were missing it!"

�

Ok, you know what... why don't you go and have a quick look around and get a good scope on what activities you wanna do and what booths you wanna look at, then meet me back here in twenty minutes and we will go then, I sware!"

�

"Really? Cool. See ya later dad."

�

�

�

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

�

April meandered about the carnival, trying to decide what games to play and what things she could con Luke into buying her. 'Her dad' she corrected herself internally. She hadn't really discussed beginning to call him 'dad' yet... in fact the change was quite subtle. but she knew that he appreciated the affectionate term, which was obvious the first time she used it. It was just a simple thursday afternoon at the diner she was finnishing up her homework and begging him to let her have�a side of fries to make the studying go faster, of course. but he wouldnt relent. Saying that she could just as well Finnish her homework without the artery clogging starch fingers as she could with them.

�

"But Dad..." She whined, prompting� him to lift his head from his receipts in mild shock, but mutely made his way to the kitchen and brought out�a serving of fries. As he placed them down beside her, April looked up and into his eyes that mirrored his own and said "Thanks Dad."

�

And ever since then she had called him dad. They hadn't discussed it, but just let it happen. It felt right, familiar.

�

She�was distracted from Kirk and Lulu's booth of pre-wedding favours (Kirk had ordered too many Jordan almonds over the internet and had gotten a really great deal on the little Champaign bubbles that he had decided to give them away before the wedding�so as the townsfolk were ready for the next day) by something else familiar, or rather two familiar things. April smiled as she stride the distance quickly finding two familiar faces arguing about the nutritional value in popcorn when she�called-

�

"Lorelai! Rory!"

�

"Hey�April." Lorelai answered cheerfully as the girl hugged her middle tightly.

�

"How you been sweetie?" Rory asked, genuinely happy to see the girl.

�

"Good! Just enjoying the festivities... Taylor really goes all out, doesn't he." She remarked regarding the massive blow up sunflowers riddles throughout the square.

�

"Please, this is amateur... you should be here for the pumpkin parade in October."

�

"Or the basket auction?"

�

"Yeah, or the winter carnival! Last year- Mom had our dog reading tarot cards." Lorelai chuckled slightly, trying not to think about last year's winter carnival. That was when she had unexpectedly found out about�April and her beautiful June third wedding plans thrown out the window.

�

Rory seemed to have noticed her mother's discomfort and tried to move the subject away from whatever was troubling her mom.

�

"So, how's School?" Rory, always one with the learning thing.

�

"It's okay... My Math group that went to Philadelphia last�semester got chosen to represent Connecticut in the�state math championships- but my principal had to decline because it clashes with all of our school based testing so those punks from�Litchfield Elementary�got to go instead. And other than that nothing much has 

happened, other than Josh Linley tried to kiss me behind the bleachers and I told him not to come puckering his lips at me again or I would knock him flat."

�

"Oh, Wow." Lorelai stated, feeling slightly proud of her and a little scared for the young boy.

�

"... But I haven't told dad about the kissing thing yet... so can�we keep that a secret? He tends to get a little nervous when� talk about boys in general."

�

"Uh, sure..." Obviously Luke had not informed the girl of the break up, either that- or she was more comfortable around Lorelai for some unknown reason.

�

Well I guess, being your dad he has that right.. I remember when I first got kissed by a boy, mom wanted to hunt him down so she stalked him in Dooses?"

�

"Was he a produce guy?" April asked, inquisitively.

�

"Bag boy." Rory answered.

�

"ah." she replied all knowingly.

�

"Well, I gotta go meet dad... wanna hang out with us today?"

�

Rory looked nervously from April to Rory as she said-

�

"Um, actually... I was just dropping Rory off. I have to get to the inn, you know- inventory... but you two have fun okay?"

�

"Did I miss something?"April asked inquisitively, worrying that she had inadvertently stepped on some toes.

�

"Na, she's just acting a bit weird."� Rory clarified weakly, wondering why her mother's demeanour had suddenly changed. Okay, well she knew that it was awkward being around April when she and Luke were in an odd place- but to skip out on a carnival? That was sooo not her mom.

�

"Does it have something to do with the break-up?"� April asked bluntly. Rory was shocked into silence as she regarded the fact that April had been willing to hang out with her and her mom despite the situation. Frankly, Rory was surprised that Luke had even told her- being one to keep such things to himself. Heck- the last time he wouldn't even call it a break-up. Perhaps the wording was too much for him to take.

�

"You know about the break-up?" She asked out loud

�

"Well, I sorta figured. I mean, my dad's not the most talkative of guys- but he does seem a lot more down than usual." April replied. Trying to gain confirmation of the facts that she thought she already knew.

�

"Yeah, well... Their having a bit of a... thing... right now." Rory said.

�

"Is it because of me?" she asked, and Rory's heart nearly broke with the sadness in the young girl's voice.

�

"Oh, honey- it wasn't you. 

�

"They're just going through a few things right now. You showing up in your dad's life were a good thing- you deserve to know your father- and Mom believes that too. She thinks your great! It's just-" Rory broke off before thinking about what to say next.

�

Mom and Luke have been through so much and they have both made a few mistakes regarding their communication, but they are meant to be together, and they'll see it soon enough." Rory answered wistfully.

�

"Do you think they'll get over it and get back together."

�

"Lord I hope so- for both our sakes."

�

"True dat!"

�

"C'mon kiddo- there's Lane" Rory followed the young girl as she made her way across the square towards her best friend.

� 

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

As Lorelai made her way� across the� She decided that� she needed a coffee and headed to Weston's.�� She headed out the door with her large mocha under her chin as she rummaged around her purse for her phone, with the intent of calling Sookie and letting her know that she was coming in when she bumped into a stranger and nearly toppled down the stairs. The stranger held out his arms and steadied her before she could fall, but the coffee bit the dust, on the kerb, luckily not getting on her jeans.

�

�

"Oh, Whoa!" Lorelai�exclaimed as she dropped the beverage

�

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!" the stranger said, in a fully genuine apologetic tone.

�

"Oh, that's okay... was trying to cut back anyways." Lorelai said as she looked up at the man she had bumped into.

�

He was young, "about her age (that qualified as young, right?) Clean shaven, with a slightly boyish hairstyle , dark hair that complimented his dark eyes and dark sweater. He smiled up at her with perfectly straight teeth and she swore she could have swooned. 

�

�

"Well, actually... I guess I'm not sorry, because this means I get to buy you another." he said as he looked up at the vision that she was. Her dark curls cascading over her shoulders her hip hugging jeans and flowy top that off-set her beautiful blue eyes perfectly. He could have sworn she was glowing.

�

"That's not nessacery." Figuring that this was fate's way of reminding her of the side effects of caffeine when mixed with pregnancy. But it was just too damn good to pass by when the smell finally no longer made her nauseous. Still, She felt as though this man had a little more that a plutonic cup of coffee on his mind.

�

"Oh but I insist." He had to get this woman's phone number. Or at least her name- then he could ask Patty about her and she would no doubt come up with her age, rank and serial number.

�

"Really... its fine- I shouldn't really be drinking it anyway." Lorelai joked as she placed her hand over her stomach mentally thinking of her baby. Her and Luke's baby. She reminded herself. That got her thinking about 

her diner man and how much he would disapprove her purchase this morning, heck- how he would disapprove of her standing out the front of his rival establishment while this gentleman was blaliantly flirting with her. 

�

"Up set stomach" She found herself saying, not wanting to let on that she was indeed pregnant. She had yet to tell the town about her impending baby- who was she to go about telling random strangers.

�

"Oh, well in that case- I guess I did you a favour." he smiled that mega-watt smile once more.

�

"Well I should-" she began awkwardly when he simply stood there smiling at her.

�

"Hey, wait- Now that fortune has smiled upon me and made it so that you owe me... I would love to continue this sometime." Sometime, somewhere private. He thought to himself. Heck, who was he kidding. He was not one to shy away from public displays.

�

"Uh, I don't know" Lorelai looked up at the diner, just to simply check and see if Luke was watching. She saw him standing behind the counter, wiping it with� a frown on his face and her heart wanted to break. She wanted him to come over here and bail her out of this awkward situation. Wanted him to come over and sweep her into his arms as if he were marking his territory.

�

"C'mon, It's the least you could do." the man joked, trying to charm his way into a date with the raven haired beauty.

�

"I'm flattered, really- but I can't." Lorelai turned back towards the man and answered him bluntly.

�

"What? You married? I don't see a ring?" She would have loved to say that she was taken, that she was engaged and expecting, but that would lead to awkward questions about the father and her engagement ring (which was now residing upon a simple silver chain around her neck- She was devastated the morning a week ago after the doctors had removed her jewellery for her procedure, she had found that her fingers were swollen and she could no longer wear her prised ring) so unbeknown to Rory she had slipped it onto an empty chain she had found in her jewellery box and slipped it onto her neck, and then securely tucked it away into her shirt, and hadn't removed it since.

�

"No, Not married- just not in a place to start a new�something." Lorelai answered with uncertainty

�

"Oh, had your heart broken?" Man this guy was blunt. Almost to the point that he was rude.

�

"Uh, excuse me?" She asked incredulously.

�

"You just got this look in your eye that said you've been hurt recently, by some dumb schmuck, no doubt, who was too stupid to see what he was giving up on..." That's right buddy, you've got her now.

�

"Uh, not quite." She couldn't believe him.

�

"Ah, so you're the heartbreaker. Should have known- girl like you... Stringing men along like love sick puppies, and then Bam you break his heart." Too far? He thought... maybe.

�

" Excuse me?"

�

""Not meaning this to offend you, but I would Love to be one of those guys..." Man would I love to be one.

�

"I'm sorry, no.�Not usually one to�talk about personal relationships in public, to a stranger- no less- I Did just get out of a relationship, a big one. And I'm not looking for anything. So really, I'm flattered, despite the fact that you think I'm some cold and heartless shrew,�but I have to say no." She answered with finality as she turned to begin walking away.

�

"Well, if you change your mind." he began leaving the rest of his sentence to trail off.

�

"I won't, but thanks for the little self esteem boost" she answered sarcastically

�

"My pleasure." he answered to her retreating form- not picking up on the sarcasm. he turned away from Weston's, deciding against the small cafe/bakery in favour of the diner across the street, all the while thinking of the beautiful woman that he was determined to get to know a little before his stay in this incipid town was up. He walked into the building still wrongly named 'Williams hardware' and found a familiar face residing behind the counter.

�

"My my my, Luke Danes! Long time no see stranger!".

�

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

�

�

A/N- okay- I know this guy was a little OTT, but I wanted to write him as though he was a little bit of a womaniser- I just didn't know how to do it. He seemed a little too cocky to me- but whatever. The real mystery is who is he? And�how does he know Luke? Please review with any comments or suggestions�you may have regarding this new character. Also I just wanted to add, when writing this character I sort of had� a picture in my mind of a mix between Lorelai's entire Ex's. Jason's blunt and to the point nature, Max's devotion and Christopher's attitude- so it would make sense that Lorelai would be a little attracted to him- but fear not- , after all- Lorelai did run away from each of these men upon finding that they were not who she wanted. We all know there is only one guy for our Lorelai.

�

�

�

�

�

�


	10. Chapter 10

Hey everybody! I just want to say a quick word of thanks for all the encouraging reviews I received for my last chapter! I know, I Know... that was posted over a month ago! Well, I guess life isn't life without a few curveballs thrown in there. (not that I really know what a curve ball is- being a) not really a sport person and b) an Aussie, who doesn't really understand baseball terminology as our primary sport consists of some stoopid person standing between a concrete ball and three wooden sticks shoved into the ground.) But whatever. I had about four thousand philosophy essays due in the last few weeks so i haven't really had time to update. But here goes.

Oh, and P.S. I have an idea of who I would have play the 'mystery guy' in this story if it were on TV and I could pick any actor I wanted. I figured the image in my head would be a little like Simon Baker. Tall, a little rough around the edges but undeniably hot! Hope that helps when trying to picture him!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"So he just started hitting on you?" Sookie asked quietly as she continued breaking the chocolate for desert sauce in a bowl. Lorelai had returned from her run in with mystery guy at the bakery and proceeded to divulge all to her best friend.

"Ya… I guess… I don't even know- maybe he was just being nice." Lorelai answered sceptically.

"Sure he was… like any man is that nice without wanting something in return. And might I say – it's not as if you wouldn't be every mans dream date." Sookie joked.

"See, that's just it. He just kept going on and on about how he wanted to be 'one of them'" Lorelai continued as she picked a piece of chocolate out of the bowl and popped it into her mouth. Mmmm... Baby appreciated that.

"One of whom?" Sookie asked confused.

"I don't know- apparently I'm giving off a vibe that reeks of heartbreaker' and he wants to cash in." Lorelai continued exasperated. She was not a heartbreaker. She was more than usually the one getting her heart broken. Well it was more of a fifty-fifty situation, half heartbreaker, half heartbreak-ee. But that was all just semantics. Who the hell was this guy to go around propositioning pregnant women?

But he didn't know that. And she was hardly the one to go around spilling the news to a complete stranger.

"Wow... okay- so are you gonna go for it?" Sookie asked conspiratorly.

"WHAT!? Sookie, no! That's disturbing even for you. Did we maybe forget exactly what kind of situation I'm in right now? Hmmmn, Rhymes with 'negnant'!"

"Well, okay, but this guy has gotten you all riled up and that's usually a sign of attraction. You don't need to marry the guy- just go for a drink, meet someone new- who knows- it might be nice! You could at least get a free meal out of it." Sookie only half heartedly cajoled. Truthfully- she hoped that this hiatus from Luke would make her friend see how much they needed each other.

"Sookie! I'm not attracted to the guy. Okay? He just annoyed me with his holier than thou attitude. And I can't drink anyways! Not to mention he made me drop my coffee, that I was really looking forward to enjoying since Rory has me on Coffee probation." Lorelai protested.

"Oh my god! I completely forgot!" Sookie exclaimed as she lunged for the coffee that she had just poured for her friend. Lorelai was too quick however and held the coffee high above her head out of her friends reach." Sookie making a comical effort to take the beverage from her friend while Lorelai whined in protest.

"Sookie! No, I really need one cup- Rory is cutting me off completely and it's like all addictions, I can't just go cold turkey!" Lorelai protested as Sookie managed to rid her of the cup.

"You'll thank me when your kid comes out looking normal!" Sookie argued as she made her way to the sink and poured the contents of the cup down the plug hole. Lorelai whimpered as she watched on in horror. No way could she go another six months like this! She was going to murder Luke when she saw him next.

"Now, go and be a good girl and sit in your office." Lorelai pouted.

"Now, don't give me that look" Sookie scolded. "You're the one who wanted to come in on your day off!" She reminded her

"Fine! Lorelai bit back. "But don't expect me to get much work done today or in, say the next six months. Without the coffee, I may just be too withdrawn to remember things like payroll and food orders." Lorelai teased.

"I handle food orders." Sookie retorted

"Yeah, but I handle the money for food orders- and I flirt with your suppliers to get quick delivery- not gonna be so easy once I'm fatter than Aretha Franklin and lazier than Al Bundy"

"I don't know about that - you're pretty determined when you flirt. But I do know your not gonna be fatter than Aretha- hell, I don't think anyone could be fatter!" Sookie surmised.

"Here Here." Lorelai agreed diplomatically allowing herself a moment to remember what it had been like with Rory- the fat ankles, the bloating, the puking. Luke was so dead.

"And there is a subtle difference in that in six months you will loose a lot of that weight as it comes out and in the form of the most precious thing you have ever imagined." Lorelai looked at Sookie sheepishly and spoke quietly

"I know." She looked wistfully as she thought of what it would be like to hold her newborn in her arms for the first time. She remembered what it was like with Rory- the small bundle swaddled in a fluffy blanket, completely dependant on her for survival. No one else but her and her baby. Then the though of Luke not being there because she pushed him away was almost too much for her to bear.

"Sookie? Do you think that it's going to be okay?" Lorelai asked quietly.

"What? The baby? It will if I keep taking away your coffee."

"No, not the baby- Well, not just the baby. I meant me. Me and the baby- me and the pregnancy- me and Luke?"

"Honey, sure it will. I know you. It won't be long before you two talk it out and things will be back on track. You just need to give it time."

"Yeah, time..." Lorelai parroted distractedly.

"Honey? Why did you really decide to come in today? Was it something to do with Luke?"

"No, not Luke, per se. Rory and I were at the festival and we ran into April." Lorelai sighed.

"Ah… She give you the cold shoulder?" Sookie asked knowingly.

"That's just it… she acted like nothing had happened… as if she didn't know- as if he hadn't told her about the breakup… or the baby."

"Maybe he's trying not to get her mixed up in the middle. Does that bother you that he didn't?"

"I don't know, Sook- I just felt really stupid and knew I couldn't stand there with her and act as though nothing was wrong. She's a great kid- and she deserves nothing more than to have him in her life- but I just keep thinking about how he shut me out when it came to her."

"I know, sweetie- and I'm not going to admit that it wasn't wrong… but you know Luke. He doesn't process things at the same rate as everyone else- he's one of those serious thinkers, you know. The ones that analyse every single little detail… It couldn't have been easy to find out that he had a kid for thirteen years. And the reasoning behind why Anna kept her from him, must have made him doubt a lot about himself, and by extension you."

"I don't understand how he could have doubted my love for him. After all this time."

"Sweetie- it's only been a two years."

"But even before then, when we were friends- I know it took a long time to admit it, heck it took a lot of time to even see it- but it was always there."

"Okay, so maybe he never doubted your love, maybe he doubted his own ability to make you happy. Therefore shutting you out, postponing the wedding and keeping you from April were, somehow protecting you from hurting later."

"Well, with logic like that…"

"Just call me Dr Phil!" Sookie Joked before sobering and declaring. "Honey- it'll be okay… it has to be."

"Thanks Sook." Lorelai sighed as she left the kitchen and headed towards her office.

GGGGGGGGGG

"My, My, My- Luke Danes as I Live and breathe!" The stranger who had walked into the diner exclaimed.

Luke looked up from the counter and registered the newcomer who seemed to know him and tried place the familiar face.

"Craig?" he asked when the face registered in his mind. "Craig Gleeson?" Luke added.

"Awe, so you do remember me!" The newcomer joked He walked over to the counter and extended his hand for Luke to shake, which he did with an incredulous smile on his face.

"What the heck brings you back to this neck of the woods?" Luke asked.

"Well my little bro is getting hitched tomorrow- thought id surprise him by actually showing up! Plus- I think I may have scored myself a gorgeous Date outside Weston's!" Luke's mind clicked into gear.

"Of course- I completely forgot about the wedding."

Luke remembered- Did he imagine Kirk asking him to be best man? He couldn't for the life of him remember. There had been no word since then, no fittings, and no preparations- and wasn't the best man supposed to do something about a bachelor party?

"And you've been here- what? Two minutes and you've already found some poor unsuspecting girl to unleash your powers of manipulation onto?" Luke Chuckled remembering the ladies man that Craig had once been. Some things never change.

"Yup- And just you wait. She will be the prettiest one there!" he added pointedly.

"Oh yeah- Who is she? Maybe I know her. And can give her a well informed heads up." Luke joked.

"Not sure... but I will be."

"You didn't get her name- that's low- even for you."

"Na, She hardly gave me the time of day- kept giving me some spiel about how she wasn't up for dating and how she had just got out of a relationship- but you know how I cant resist when they play hard to get!"

"Same old Craig Gleason- I see the years haven't changed you one bit!" Luke chuckled.

Craig looked around the old hardware turned Diner "Man this place brings back some memories." He said wistfully.

"Yeah." Luke recalled.

"Hey- remember senior year- after the first ball game against Woodbury?"

"Yeah, and the party at Debbie Mancini's after."

"Ah, good ole Debbie."

"Oh yeah- forgot that she was one of your conquests" Luke cajoled.

"Yeah, but you got so wasted! I thought Will was gonna drop kick me off your front porch after I got you through the door."

"No, he just drop-kicked me the next day! Never drank vodka again after that night." Luke retorted as the two old friends shared a laugh.

"God, I can believe its still here." He said gesturing at the diner. "And your still here!" he added. "I thought for sure you would have moved on with Rachel's jet setting lifestyle!"

"Na, he shrugged. "Wasn't the one for me."

""Yeah, you always were a bit of a homebody-"He started as the door to the diner jingled, announcing the arrival of a patron.

"Dad! Lane's here. Can you come out to the festival now?" April's voice filled the busy diner. Craig smiled at the young girl and looked at Luke.

"Dad? Did she just call you Dad?" He looked incredulously at his former friend.

"Yeah, I believe she did."

"So, you coming?" Oblivious to the man seated at the counter who seemed to have some form of connection with her father.

"Yeah, ill be out in a sec- but first- Craig- This is my daughter April- April this is Craig Gleeson, Kirk's older brother."

"Wow, I would not have picked you for any family member of Kirk's she bluntly surmised.

"And why is that?" he asked inquisitively.

"Uh, well- your normal."

Craig laughed heartily. "Yeah, well I'm still holding out hope that I was adopted."

April chuckled. "Can't blame you there"

He chuckled "Man she's a cute kid."

"The cutest" Luke griped as April started bouncing on the balls of her feet- trying to get her dad to move faster.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" He noted as he finally looked up and saw that she was jittery and her eyes were wide.

"Rory and I shared a cotton candy. Man it was good. All foods should be made like that- you know- wisped into a floss type texture so that it melts away in your mouth!"

"I would hardly consider spun sugar as 'food' And Rory could do better than to teach you her eating habits."

"Oh, come on groucho- Live a little. Just think- the more hyped up I am when mom comes to get me, the faster ill fade and she will be forever grateful to you for giving her an afternoon free of my exasperating questions."

"I guess that means I'm going to the festival."

"Yup."

"And there is no changing your mind?"

"Nope."

"Caesar- I'm gone!"

"YAY!!"

"Nice seeing you again Craig.

"See you at the wedding bro, and ill prove to you about how hot my date is!"

"Cant wait!"

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

" Sook, have you seen the paper for today?"

"Ummm, I believe that Michel was reading it when I asked him to pull out the guest list for the wedding tomorrow and give me the final tally. Why?"

"I just thought since I won't be doing anything productive- I may as well be looking for my new digs in the real estate section." Sookie sighed and looked at the floor. She wished her friend would give up the act. She knew she was not going to move any time soon.

"What? What is with that look?"

"Nothing, it's just- you sure you wanna sell your house?"

"Sookie… I have to. Luk-." Lorelai started, but was cut off.

"Awe honey. Luke will come around- you'll see."

"No Sookie… you don't understand. I was the one who said we should be apart. I was the one who said that ill Leave Stars Hollow."

"But you're saying that you don't wanna leave?" Sookie asked.

"Stars Hollow has been my home for so long, it doesn't feel right to leave it behind." Lorelai Sadly confided.

"Then, Why? Honey- If this is about Luke and how you believe that you're not meant to be- That's stupid! And Ridiculous! And you know it. I have never met any two people who are more right for each other than you and Luke. Sure- I love Jackson and we have a wonderful life together- but your love with Luke- Its epic. One of the great romances that you only read about in books! And the fact that you're here, now, telling me that you don't really want to leave- doesn't that make you fell silly when you're out looking for new apartments in Beacon Falls?"

Lorelai sighed It was one thing to claim that you are okay, another to make it believable- especially to your best friend. Someone who knows you well. Lorelai looked down and studied her feet as she answered her friend softly.

"It's not that I wanna leave, you know I don't, I love this place- this town. Ever since I was seventeen and came barrelling in on a bus from Hartford with a one year old on my hip. These people adopted me as family; Mia helped me out as if I were her own daughter. And that house- that house means everything to me. After eight years of scrimping and saving, and working my way up at the independence inn, the day I finally had enough for the deposit- I cant even describe how it felt. It meant that I had made it. Sure, it may have been falling apart- and it's not exactly the Taj Mahal- but it was mine. And it was something my parents couldn't take away from me. And every little thing in it was a part of that. And extension of my entire being, you know?"

Sookie nodded along "Yeah, I understand that honey… that's why I don't understand why you're so willing to give that up."

"Because it's not just me anymore. Luke put just as much into that house as I did, maybe more. It's as much his as it is mine and it's where we decided we wanted to start our lives together." Lorelai's eyes begun to cloud over and she squeezed them shut to stop the avid flow of moisture.

"Oh Hun…" Sookie cooed.

"And I know that running away is stupid and that I shouldn't revert to my former ways… but. Every time I walk in that house, I see another thing that is him. Whether it be the staircase where he spent hours meticulously crafting the banister because Tom wouldn't do it the way I wanted, or the paint on the walls that we argued about for what seemed like weeks before settling on a colour that we both liked. Or the furniture we picked out for the bedroom. We both wen to the furniture store in Hartford- even though he hates shopping for furniture- and I made him lye on the beds with me and I bugged him relentlessly, just to see the little vein on his forehead poke out. Its all there in that house- just gnawing at me, waiting for me to snap and break down into the sad sobbing miserable woman you see before you." at that point Sookie put down the spoon that had resided in her hand and reached out to hold her friend.

"I miss him so much Sook. It's so hard to escape it. He's everywhere in this town. Hell, He's even inside me! At least a part of him, anyway." She looked around conspicuously hoping that none of the kitchen staff had heard. The last thing she needed were the gossip mongers trading around her workplace.

"And I thought I could do it. I thought I didn't need to have him in my life. I thought I could be independent on my own, like I had to be with Rory. But every time I walk into that house, I crumble. I contemplate running to the diner and falling into his embrace. But then I remember the things we said, and all that happened with April and Anna and Christopher."

"But nothing happened with Christopher."

"I know! But he thought that something did. He doubted what we were, enough to keep me from his daughter, enough to believe that I had been unfaithful to him. And I don't think ill ever be over that."

And with that statement lingering in the air she left the kitchen and headed for the reception desk.

Wiping her eyes with the corner of her sleeve she nearly gasped when she saw a tall figure standing at the desk.

"Wow… Who wouldda thunk id be so lucky as to bump into you twice in one day." a familiar voice chimed. Lorelai stopped dead in her stride and cursed whoever was playing these cruel jokes on her from above.

"You again? I mean- Welcome to the dragonfly inn. How may I help you?" She asked in a most professional manner.

"I have a reservation" Craig answered smartly.

"I'm Sorry, but we have no reservations this weekend- the entire Inn is booked for a function." Lorelai proclaimed. He cut her off.

"Yeah, a wedding- I know. Listen- the groom is my brother."

"Kirk? Kirk is your brother?" she asked, clearly surprised at the two very opposite ends of the species the two men came from.

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"Name?"

"I knew your curiosity would give out eventually." He flirtatiously chuckled.

"I need you name to check you in." She griped, trying not to let him know how he affected her. Or annoyed her.

"What about checking me out?" he said under his breath, but Lorelai had just caught it.

"Excuse me?" She asked, offended.

"Name's Craig Gleason." He continued, without so much as an explanation.

"Okay Mr Gleason. Your all checked in. Please take a copy of the schedule for the Gleason wedding and enjoy your stay in the town." Lorelai professionally stated, willing the conversation to end there. She had no intention of delving into the situation any further than offering professional courtesy to the man who had pursued her so vigorously this morning.

"So, now you know my name- you know a bit about my family you know where I grew up, heck- you know my mother… when would be a good time for you?" Craig asked, wittily.

"Excuse me?" Lorelai asked incredulously once again.

"To go on a date with me… what, did you think I meant something else?" He quipped knowing exactly which way she had taken his proposition.

"Well, Mr Gleason." She stated for emphasis on the use of his last name. "you have a very busy schedule, right there in your hands, and I have to oversee many of the items on that very busy schedule, so I'd say- neither of us really has the time to do much of anything this weekend."

"well, okay- you got me there- I don't need much, what about just a cup of coffee in your break?"

"I don't get a break" She answered back quickly.

"You don't get a break?" his eyebrows raised, high into his sandy blond hair.

"Ya and I don't drink coffee." She added unconvincingly.

"You were going to this morning…"

"Well, then I just don't get a break."

"I don't believe it? Get me your manager- I wanna have a talk to him." He joked.

"Well, Michel is the manager- but it won't do you much good, he can't be convinced into anything. I guess ill be stuck working all weekend." She said with mock regret.

"That's outrageous. c'mon- how about I bring the coffee to you? I know a guy that makes a hell of a cup of coffee. Good friend of mine too- he might throw in some donuts to sweeten the deal." He cajoled.

Maybe you're not getting it- There are many things on that list that have to be prepared for as well. And I mean- you know you mother, right? She is going to want everything perfect for your brother's wedding and would not appreciate the coordinator of that to be fraternising with the groom's brother."

"So that's a no?" he asked after a minute, nearly ready to admit defeat.

"Yes it's a no. - and I'm sorry if that's rude, or blunt but I can't." Lorelai added.

"I see. So, you really are busy?"

"Yes"

"And I can't change your mind?"

"No."

""Well, that's okay then. Well, I'll see you around then- mystery woman."

"Goodbye Mr Gleason."

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Okay- that's it for now… I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I don't know what I can do to fix it… any thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Wow, I must apologise for the delay in posting... just had midyear uni finals... so have been strapped for time. Now have a month off so will hopefully be able to finish this baby off and maybe post the beginnings of a few other stories I've been dabbling with over time, anyways... let's get on with it!**

**GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG**

"Okay… so what do we think of the green one?" Rory asked her mother as she held up an emerald green strapless dress.

"I think the green one makes me look like a leprechaun." Lorelai quipped back nonchalantly as she continued browsing the racks. The two had gotten up early and hit Macy's and fuelled by nought but coffee (and a half-caf mocha latte for Lorelai and baby) the two perused the sales racks in the evening wear section.

"Mom, you're five-nine. I doubt very much that anyone would mistake you for a tiny mythical creature." Rory quipped right back. Living with Lorelai for the first eighteen years of her life, and then on and off during semesters for the next four, had taught Rory to simply shrug off the annoyance when Lorelai was in a petulant mood.

"Yes, well… didn't you hear – Green is the new fat. All of these dresses scream 'fat'. I'm looking at fat girl dresses. And while bigger girls look quite dazzling in these outfits- I certainly do not." Lorelai complained.

"Don't be silly! These are only two sizes bigger than your normal size." Rory argued.

"Am I really that fat? Have I grown that much?" Lorelai expressed incredulously.

"No! Of course not… you're not even showing… the only person who notices your little bump so far is you."

"Then what's with the frumpy dresses?" Lorelai asked as she held up a dress that was olive green in colour. She furrowed her brow, wrinkled her nose and returned the dress to the rack.

"I thought that maybe if you go a few sizes up, you can alter as you grow and you won't run out of fabric." She deduced smartly and smiled proudly at her mother.

"That's my little ivy league."

"Well yes, being journalism major makes me privy to certain fashion dilemmas." Rory replied sarcastically as she continued browsing the racks.

"But what about today? I don't have time to alter a dress to fit me today. That's why we are buying two dresses. One that's just a little bigger for you today and one that you can alter – you cannot tell me that there are no more upcoming functions at the Dragonfly that might require the use of such dress."

"Wow, you really are smart."



Thank you. So have you spoken to Luke?"

"My daughter, ladies and gentleman- master of the subtle segue."

"Well have you?"

"No mom, I have not spoken to Luke."

"I'm just asking a question. What about Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Oh so you're going for the easy topics, huh?"

"They know I have been in the hospital. Sookie called them when I was admitted. I spoke to Mom yesterday and told her that it was just exhaustion and not to worry, she did however berate me on how I enjoy not telling her about important things that go on in my life, momentarily forgetting that the last time I told her something major she and dad shrugged it off as no big deal."

"So that's a no?"

"Yes that's a no. can you imagine what the fallout would be if I told them I was unmarried and pregnant again? I can just hear it now. Mom wailing like a banshee while dad gives me his 'I'm disappointed in you' speech, like somehow that's supposed to be better than getting mad."

"But it's different this time. I mean- you're not sixteen anymore."

"Thanks."

"You're a grown adult with a business and a mortgage, and you want to be married. Right?"

"Yeah, I also want Ed McMahon to deliver a giant check for one million dollars to my door, but that's not gonna happen either."

"So you're not gonna tell them?"

"Do you think I could get away with it?"

"Grandpa might not have his eye on the ball at all times, but grandma will certainly notice when you balloon from under the dinner table."

"Drat! I was trying to forget the fat thing. And the pain part. Every time I think about either I get horrid vivid flashbacks to the night I had you and it wasn't so peachy."

"Splits on a crate of dynamite- I remember the story."

"I swear they put something in the drugs that makes women forget just how bad it is. Otherwise women would stop having second babies and we would under populate!"

"Don't have sex if you're not able to handle the fallout."

"True… I just…"

"What?"



"I thought it was gonna be different. This time... that there would be no disappointment speech, no way to screw up Lorelai! No mid terms."

"I think your safe with that last one."

"I guess I just thought that if I were to have another kid it would be different. But here I am. Unwed, knocked up and afraid to tell my parents."

"You may be able to let grandma out of it for a few more weeks, but you will have to tell them eventually."

"I know kid. So… we go with the purple and the blue?"

"Yeah… rack 'em up and put 'em on the card. Then let's hit the food court. Baby's hungry.

"Well at least little heshe has our eating habits."

"You have no idea how wrong you are."

"Huh?"

"You wait till we get there- ill probably be scarfing down a salad and juice of some kind."

"That little fiend! You're gonna have to condition Brosis to adhere to our culinary choices or face being kicked out of the family!"

"At least I know one thing about my kids."

"What?"

"They grow up so well."

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Michel, Can I have the list of the ceremony proceedings?" Lorelai called as she went over the details in her office.

"It's on the reception desk." Came Michel's dulcet tone from beside the desk. He was on the computer googling Celine once again.

"I am aware of that Michel. Can you bring it to me please?" Lorelai asked as if she were talking to a five year old.

"You mean, am I physically capable of bringing you the list? In that case- yes I am… but I do not want to." He replied without looking away from the computer.

"Michel!" She yelled impatiently.

"Okay okay… whatever. Here is your stupid list." He said as he thrust the sheet of paper in her hand.



"Thank you Michel. Now I want you to go over this other list that I just made with Susannah so you can double team and get things done sooner."

"Why do I have to chaperone that Britney spears wannabe around all day long." He moaned.

"You don't Michel. You just have to collaborate with her and split the list in half." She explained as the two made their way out of her office and into the foyer area.

"Let me see that" He said as he yanked the list from her and began to read out the items.

"Oh, speak with the florist regarding the setting of the bridal garlands- I must do that, and the horse boy needs to clean up Desi's mane for the bridal entrance, I must also do that… he is particularly afraid of me… wait a minute… all of these things are things that only I can do, as manager of this inn. That petulant child cannot update the guestbook as she has no password for the computer, no access to the financial records for the payment of the catering companies servers… you just wrote a very long list of things for me to do and teased me with the anticipation of only doing half!" He ranted and stomped his foot. Lorelai had to chuckle at the thought of the fact that her child was less than three months old in her womb and already was bound to be more mature than her most trusted employee.

"Michel, would you relax! I have showed her all the basic routines with the computer this morning, I gave her access to admin files as well as financials and Susannah is more than capable of talking to Pete regarding Desdemona's wayward mane. On second thoughts… you deal with the computer and financials and anything that deals with coming within talking distance of paying customers. And leave Susie to handle that."

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." Michel said scathingly.

"What?" Lorelai asked obliviously.

"You're training her up to replace me!"

"No Michel… I'm not!"

"Oh Please, what else would be up with the 'let Susannah handle that' and the 'oh, don't bother yourself with the details- Susie can handle it all...' your pushing me out and letting Malibu Barbie run things in her girly way. So you can have your girl run inn, just like you always wanted."

Lorelai hesitated before answering.

"Look, Michel-" But he cut her off.

"You hesitated! There was hesitation in that response!"

"No! No hesitation! I'm not training her to replace you!" She cried

"Then why is she all of a sudden doing all the things that only the manager has access rights to? Your just waiting until I turn my back and the WHAM you are going to bump me!"



"No Michel, I'm not. In case you haven't noticed, we are a little shorthanded so promoting her means that she can cover all the little things and frees you up to accept a little more responsibility. So in effect I'm also promoting you."

"Why? well… things are hectic around here, and I might not always be around to sign paycheques and fill orders and petty cash, so you have to learn these items to cover for me if I need to take some leave in the near to far long term future."

"Oh my gods, your selling the place aren't you?"

"What… no!"

"You're selling up and leaving me here to deal with middle management!"

"How could you!?"

"I'm not selling! I love this place… this is my inn, my dream why would I sell it now after only two years."

"You were offered a lot of money by that Durstram corp."

"Its Durham group and yes… I was offered a lot of money, a lucrative amount… but I'm not selling."

"Then, why? The only reason you would be taking leave is if you were sick or dying or I don't know, pregnant… so why are you… Oh. It all makes sense now."

"Michel… Please…"

"You are pregnant?"

"Please just go over the list with Susannah-"

"You can't hide it from me. I know you… sometimes better than yourself! You are pregnant?

"Yes. I am."

"To diner man?"

"Yes and his name is Luke."

"You are not getting married?"

"Okay…. I get it. I am going to cut you some slack now and help train Susie for your job, so when I leave you can step in and fill in for me."

"I understand, but this list…"

"Here this one is yours… ill go find Susannah. And Michel?"

"Don't worry… your secret is safe with me. It is a secret right?"



"Well, only Luke, Sookie and Rory know and now you… I just don't want this to be a big thing that the town gets wind of just yet. I need more time to process and if anyone else gets wind of it- including the other employees- I just… I don't think ill be able to handle questions and comments."

"Its fine- it is forgotten."

"Thanks michel."

"Mmmmhmmmn, just remember if you expect me to take over from you, ill will demand a fifteen percent pay rise and extended lunch hour."

"I will take that into consideration... Thanks Michel."

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The afternoon ceremony went off without a hitch… well almost, except for Kirk's suit not fitting properly since the last time it was worn by him was when he was eighteen… but other than Lorelai having to unpick and let out a few seams, the afternoon went like clockwork. The happy couple were joined as the sun had began to set and burned orange in the sky offsetting the garish pink of the bridesmaids dresses so they actually looked half good- well for a bridesmaid dress. Lorelai was now observing her kitchen staff (along with a few temps, brought in to accommodate for the large number of guests- who knew that Kirk was so well liked!?) as they meandered in and out of the crowd, serving drinks and canapés to the colourful guests. She sighed as she watched on, gazing longingly at the happy couple as they fed each other appetisers and giggled and kissed and held hands. Lorelai was quickly brought out of her revelry by a tap on the shoulder.

There stood the man that she had been trying to avoid all day dressed smartly in his Tux holding two Champaign glasses filled with pale liquid.

"Now, before you shoot me down again- just let me say that this is merely a peace offering. I am not and will from now on try to get you to go on a date with me. I am finally convinced that you were right in turning me down as I feel that if you had accepted, eventually your stubborn beauty would crush my manly ego rendering me incompetent and miserable."

Lorelai snorted a short laugh as she took the proffered glass.

"You sure are relentless, I'll give you that."

"One of my more attractive qualities, I can assure you." he admitted.

"I don't doubt that." she held the glass lightly as she loosened herself into the conversation.

"What's with the face?"



"What face?"

"The 'I'm so sad' face."

"I'm not sad-"

"Then why the face?"

"There is no face!"

"Whoa- sheesh… I was just going to say that I feel it too.

"What?"

"The loneliness. I mean- don't get me wrong… my bachelor status is one that I greatly suit… but sometimes at these big family events you can't help but wonder what could have been you know? You ever been married?

"Me? No… I've been engaged before… just never quite got there in the end.

"He hurt you, didn't he?

"Who?"

"Whoever it is that made the mistake of letting you go."

"I think we hurt each other."

"So… here's to… not getting married?

"How about here's to Kirk and Lulu?"

"Okay- here's to my little brother and his woman."

They clinked their glasses together softly and each took a sip. Halfway through her sip, Lorelai registered that she was she was drinking and promptly spat it back into the glass.

"What? No good?" Craig asked as he caught her not so subtle spit back into the glass.

"Uh, I'm just not a very big Champaign drinker."

"Ok, can I get you something else?"

"Nah, its okay… I've got a lot of work to still get done anyways."

"Didn't you receive an invitation?"

"Yeah…."

"Well then that means you are a guest… and guests are supposed to be dancing."

"What do you say?"

"Okay- one dance… but then I have to get back to work and need to let me."



"Deal."

He took her soft hand in his own and casually led her to the dance floor as a slow song started up. He casually grasped her hand and with his free hand wrapped around her waist they began to sway. Softly the music played over them and he pulled her gently closer. Lorelai was almost inclined to get lost in the moment but something stopped her. something hat about the way he had a hold of her was unnerving and unfamiliar his hand didn't fit hers the way Luke's did- he was too short- still taller than her, but not tall enough, and his grip was tentative, not strong and loving... she knew she had to stop comparing men to Luke- but she could not help it. The two swayed in time with the music and Craig bent down to capture her lips in his own. Lorelai saw the gesture and was almost inclined to let him kiss her, but turned her head at the last minute. She unwrapped his hands from around her and told him-

"I'm Sorry. I Can't..."

And with that she turned and walked towards the inns porch and went inside.

Unknown to the both of them, someone had witnessed them on the porch, apparently flirting and then the dance floor and felt his heart break into a million tiny pieces.

Obviously Craig's gorgeous new catch was Lorelai. He saw her flirting with him, saw them make a toast (drinking Champagne while pregnant, was she crazy??) saw him lead her to the dance floor. Saw his hand around her waist and when he saw him lean in for the kill he turned and stalked away towards the front of the inn to find his truck, unable to witness the woman he loved engage in a romantic kiss with his childhood friend.

Lorelai however, made her way through the inn passing Patty who shoved yet another glass of Champagne into her hand and gave her a sympathetic smile, assuring her that having two men madly in love with her could only be a good thing and that the alcohol would help. As she brushed past patty and made her way to the reception desk she found Michel with another glass of Champagne.

"Drinking on the job?" she said snarky

"I got it for you."

"Michel- you know I can't drin-"

"It is some of my sparkling apple cider- it gives the illusion of champagne minus the calories and the alcohol."

"Thank you Michel." she turned to look outside and found herself faced with a familiar green truck. She saw Luke stride towards it and swing the door open angrily.



"Luke!" she called to him- hoping that whatever had put him in this mood would have dissipated when he saw her. Apparently not as he held his head in his hand as if he were still annoyed. She approached him tentatively trying to gauge a reaction from him.

"Luke?" she said softly.

"Can we talk…? I mean, we haven't, but I need to... I know we haven't talked in a while, and I know that it is partially my fault for shutting you out but I need to discuss something with you and I hope you'll hear me out because it is big and-"

"If it's about your new boyfriend, then you can save your breath."

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. I saw the two of you… dancing, laughing, and kissing!"

"What in the world is going on out here?" came the voice of Patty as she and Babbette rounded the corner a lot of the townies had heard the ruckus and came to see what all the fighting was about.

"We were just dancing!" She stated, too focused on Luke and his anger to acknowledge the interruption from nosey townies.

"Sure… and his hand wasn't on your ass." Luke sarcastically yelled back.

"It wasn't!" She insisted.

"Oh my… lovers' quarrel."Patty whispered conspiratorially. "This should be good!"

"Let me guess, you're getting married to Craig and he is gonna raise my child!" Luke ranted as he waved his arms about angrily.

"Who's he talking about? April?" Babbette asked but was quickly silenced by the remainder of the group as they all muttered 'SHHHH!'

"Oh my god you're a drama queen! There is nothing going on!"

"Didn't look like nothing!" Luke spat back.

"Will you just listen to me?"

"No, I'm through listening to you."

"Luke!"

"Tell me Lorelai? How long is it gonna be before your bored of him and move onto the next sucker? Huh?"

"Real nice, Luke."

"Yeah, and you're the one jumping from man to man while you're pregnant with my child!"

"What did he say?" Patty asked the remainder of the group who were all wide eyed.



"How dare you insinuate…."

"Oh throwing out the big words now are we? Try to confuse dumb ol' Luke. He can't fight back if he doesn't understand"

"You're insane!"

"I'm insane? You're the one drinking champagne while pregnant! Don't you know that causes defects? Do you really hate me that much that you would hurt our child?"

"How dare you! How dare you attack me like this! How dare you even consider that I would do ANYTHING to hurt our baby?

Lorelai let out a frustrated growl and angrily threw the contents of the glass onto Luke. Luke, surprised by the assault gasped as he wiped the liquid from his eyes. The two stood, silently, their chests heaving with exhaustion as the each though of what to say next. Luke wanted to apologise, he truly did, but Lorelai beat him to words and said in a slow calm voice that was full of emotion.

"You wanna know what I felt in the hospital when they told me that I could have a miscarriage? I was terrified! Not because of the pain, not because I was we were fighting… but because I couldn't handle the thought of losing the only part of you I have left!"

Luke sighed in embarrassment and went to reach out to take her in his arms. But Lorelai pulled away from his reach and continued in the clam pained voice.

"Tell me Luke? Does that taste like champagne to you? Or does it taste like, say, non-alcoholic apple cider? Huh? So get your facts straight before you go around accusing me of such hurtful things. And yes- Craig asked me to dance and yes he tried to kiss me, but I didn't return the sentiment, because believe it or not I'm not interested in him.

Her voice rose with every word and she venomously fought back her pain and veiled it with anger. Luke in turn reciprocated.

Oh, don't let me stop you, who am I to stand in the way of true love.

If your gonna stand there and accuse me of that then you're a bigger ass than I realised. She yelled.

"Well, what does it matter anyway? You don't need me, remember? Well then fine- I am out of your life!

She watched as he headed towards his truck, her heart fell as her vision clouded over with moisture. He was too far away by the time she found her voice and let out a small sob that contained only one word.

"Luke..."



GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Hello?"

Came the shrill voice of Lorelai's neighbour the next morning. The following evening after the wedding (and the massive blow-out with Luke) was a complete blur to Lorelai. She didn't quite remember anything after he had told her he was out. She didn't remember falling on her knees in the gravel of the driveway after she watched him pull away. She didn't remember the townies fussing over her or her daughter and best friend as they tried to stop the inquiries and get her home. She didn't remember her daughter stroking her hair as she whimpered herself to sleep… all she remembered was him. His hurtful accusations, his anger at her dancing with Craig Gleeson, the look of determination on his face as he announced (for the entire world to hear) that he was out. He was done. With her, with them. With their child. That last one was the one that stung the most. Lorelai had always thought that since she fell pregnant, that no matter where he and her stood with each other that he would be there for their baby. Apparently she was wrong about that. But something in his emotional tirade rang true. Didn't she say that she didn't need him? Didnt she specifically tell him that he was no longer a requirement in her life?

Sadly she had to admit that it was her fault. She had said those words and then shut him out completely. She hadn't even seen or heard from him at all that week, and now she knew why. This epiphany shocked her to the core. It was all her fault. It was her fault that she was alone. It was her fault that her child would be without a father. Her fault that Lorelai would be without Luke…

"

"Sweetie? Ya home?" came Babbette's voice once more. Lorelai wondered whether if she simply pulled the covers over her head her neighbour would simply think she was at work and leave. No such luck as she heard the tell-tale signs of Babbette's quick footsteps on the stairs.

"I'm Comin' up sweetheart! You'll yell if your naked or anythin' wont ya?" Came her scratchy voice from the bottom.

"I'm Okay Babbette!" she heard her own scratchy voice reply. Hoping that she would turn around and leave after confirming that she was, indeed alive and well. Then she remembered to whom she was referring. There was a quick tap on the door before she came into the room, making Lorelai wonder why she had even bothered knocking. Lorelai sat up and tried to straighten the bed to make 

it look as though she had not been wallowing but stopped as she realised that her rumpled tracksuit would give her away.

"I sure hope you don't mind me bargin' in on you in here – the door was open and I was so worried about you, all alone up here."

She imagined that Babbette was only trying to make he feel better, but as usual- her bluntness only made it worse for Lorelai, acknowledging that she was, indeed alone.

"Its fine Babbette." Lorelai felt a little feint and sat down on the edge of the bed and wished the nausea away. Like it wasn't enough that the whole town knew of the pregnancy – but if Lorelai suddenly begun blowing chunks in front of Babbette she couldn't imagine the town would stay away much longer.

"We're all just so heartbroken about you and Luke splitting up that we wanna make sure that the two of you are okay… and now- with the rumours of a baby and all…" she trailed off, as if expecting Lorelai to deny that she was pregnant and say that it was all just a misunderstanding. When Lorelai didn't deny it Babbette voiced what she was thinking.

"You are pregnant, aren't you?"

Resigned to her fate, Lorelai sighed and confirmed "Yeah, I am."

"Aw, doll… that's wonderful! Just think- the little tyke is in there right now! God he's gonna be beautiful."

"Or She, Babbette."

"Well that's true. You both have daughters- maybe it's a genetic thing that you and Luke have" Babbette stopped short at the mention of Luke's name.

"I know it's none of my business, and it's not like me to pry," Lorelai almost snorted as she tried to hold back a totally called for 'Yeah right' "but what's going on with you two? I can never keep up. Are you together? Are you not, are you engaged and pregnant or just pregnant and god knows nobody would ever get any information from Luke- he's like a rock. Did I tell ya I think he should be one of those secret agents on TV, the ones who get captured and tortured for information he'd be good at that? Hey, do you know how people get into that? Do you apply like other jobs or do they have 

special scouting people who watch ya all the time to see if you're good, cos I think that Morey would be good at that too- don't you?"

"Sure Babbette." Lorelai answered as she tried not to think of whatever forms of torture that were currently making her stomach gurgle.

"Well, anyway- listen to me… babbling on about god knows what. And here you are with your poor little heart shmooshed into a blender and splattered all over the walls. I'm sorry sugar. You probably don't want to be reminded of it- right?" Unfortunately, babbette's graphic account was too much for Lorelai to handle. She hurtled herself off the edge of the bed and into the adjoining bathroom and vomited into the toilet. Fortunately, Babbette was quick to respond as she grabbed a cloth from the edge of the tub and placed it under the cool tap. She was miraculously silent as she placed the cool cloth on the back of Lorelai's neck and whispered (in her gravely way)"There, there sweetheart. Oh you poor thing." she quietly soothed Lorelai and held her hair until Lorelai assured her the bout of morning sickness was over.

"Thanks Babbette."

"There- you feel better now?"

"Surprisingly, no… the queasiness is gone, but I still feel hollow. Like someone has my heart in a vice grip."

"Oh Honey, The heartburn is supposed to be brutal! I can't imagine. Make sure you drink plenty of liquids and get some crackers or dry toast into that stomach. Listen… if you need anything, day or night and regardless if you and Luke end up back together – which I know you will, you too are too perfect for each other no to, but you call, okay… even if you just want someone to talk to and Sookie is at work and Rory is off being young and smart… promise me you will call." Babbette would not leave without the affirmation that she would call. After the wonderful help she had provided her with today, who was Lorelai to decline. She knew that no matter what her situation her neighbours and friends would be around. Supporting her, loving her.

"I Will… And thankyou Babbette. For everything." And with a small smile Babbette left, closing the front door behind her. She felt uneasy about leaving Lorelai in such a state… but she knew that something had to be done soon. It had been made abundantly clear that – even despite the young woman's assurances and faded smiles that didn't quite meet her eyes- that Lorelai needed Luke."

Lorelai Sighed as she closed the door behind her neighbour. She would be eternally grateful for Babbette kindness that morning, but she wished her situation were different. She had always envisioned that if she were ever to get pregnant again, she would have someone there with her. Someone to help through the morning sickness and mood swings. Someone to offer the ginger ale and crackers to settle her stomach, to put up with her crazy food cravings. And since the only one she had ever thought about, even remotely considered having children with was Luke. . She could 

see him holding her as she cried over sad movies ranting over her cravings and their disgusting combinations, denying her coffee and junk food until she bugged him relentlessly and he gave in. She could imagine the two of them poring over the 'What to expect when you're expecting' books as well as arguing back and forth over various names for boys and girls. She could see him, cradling a newborn in his big arms while whispering sweet little nothings to the infant while she looked on at father and child, doting dad and baby she saw a lot of firsts too, first steps, first words, first days of school, first crushes first heartbreaks. School plays, Bake sales, carnivals… all of it- she envisioned with Luke by her side. She moved into the kitchen and sank down into one of the chairs. She knew what it was she had to do. She knew that being stubborn and headstrong would eventually mean she would end up alone. One of the most important things that Luke had taught her through the years was the fact that she did not need to hide her emotions from him. He did not need her to be strong; he was strong enough for the both of them. And from time to time he would repay the favour and lean on her for support. That was of course before he didn't. The fact that he refused to come to her for advice or even to vent his feelings of hurt when he found about April, instead, he bottled it up and lied to her for months. He shut her out and denied her his feelings. The small amounts of advice that she did give fell on deaf ears as he insisted over again that he could handle it. She realised in time that he was trying to prove to Anna that he could be a good father and she was wrong in keeping April from him for all those years. But she also realised that he may, on some level, been trying to prove to her that he could do this. That he could be 'that guy' the one with the kid and the perfect marriage and the happily ever after. Somehow, thought, the picture of perfection began to slip away as Anna made it harder and harder for Luke to get to know his daughter and put on all of these restrictions as she tightened the noose around his neck. Lorelai supposed that he had a right to want to focus on April, to prove to Anna that he was worthy, to prove to her that he could be her future man. She wished that she had told him long ago that he had nothing to prove to her. She knew the kind of man he was through the kind and thoughtful gestures over the years. The Chuppah, the many broken pipes and doorknobs and stuck windows. The termites and porch rails the tenderness he showed to Rory at such a young age. The gruff way he told them that their junk food and coffee diet would one day kill them. She remembered all of the tender smile and heartfelt word even before they began dating and had to stop herself before she began crying about those tender words and touches when they began going out. Their passion and love for one another as friends made them even better as lovers. She remembered the moment she realised that this was it. This was what she had been looking for, this was her forever. He was her forever. And without him she would be subject to a long and lonely life. She knew what she had to do. She didn't know how she was going to do it. Or what she was going to say… but she knew she simply had to go to him. Make him understand that she did need him. For everything in her life. She needed him. If only there was a proper way to put it into words.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

All day the town had lain low regarding the blow-out at the dragonfly yesterday, and many stayed in their customer/proprietor relationship ordering their food using the perfunctorily hellos and good days and leaving with generous tips. Some avoided the diner all together- Luke figured that it was 

mostly the people who were most incapable to keep their mouths shut like Taylor or Kirk. Patty had stopped by, but was currently sitting at the window seat, just sipping her tea leisurely and reading the paper. He was shocked that even she had yet to comment on yesterday's festivities especially when Luke had practically announced to the town (and the town three towns over, he was sure) that Lorelai was pregnant and that they were over. He had at least expected some angry gazes or pitied glances. After all he made have made it sound as though he was leaving her because she was pregnant and that made him sound like a callous ass. The town however kept to themselves the whole day. It wasn't until Babbette had entered the diner and conspicuously gazed at Luke as she moved to sit at patty's table that Luke heard anyone speak of anything other than how they wanted their burgers cooked or if they wanted more coffee.

"Hiya pats!" Babbette rasped.

"Hey there sweetie. How are you?" Patty's dulcet tone answered. Luke leaned in and feigned being busy to listen to the conversation that they were trying to keep as secretive as possible.

"Good, I'm good."

Patty leaned in and whispered, just loud enough for Luke to hear. "So any news on..." she whispered conspiratoraly. "Can we confirm? Is there a bun in the oven?"

"Yeah… she's preggers alright… poor thing was pukin' her guts up when I went over there this morning." Babbette answered.

"Ah, Morning sickness… How I'm glad I never went through that."

"Yeah, and it's bad enough, but now she doesn't even have you-know-who around" she looked around to see if Luke was around and he quickly went back to focusing on the counter top as they continued.

"Poor thing… she must be devastated. Having to face doing it all alone again."

"Yeah… she's puttin' on a brave face, but you know me- I can see through people easier that water."

"Well that is true." Patty agreed

The rest of Patty and Babbette's conversation was drowned out by the arrival of Lane and Zach. They both were being unusually quiet and when Zach sat down at his regular table and Lane put her apron on in silence Luke wondered if the two had had their first marital spat. It wasn't until the middle of the dinner rush when Luke passed out Taylor's meal of boiled chicken with rice and vegetables that Luke got a glimpse of what was wrong. As soon as the plate was placed on the table Lane's eyes went wide as she covered her mouth with her hand and made a beeline for the restrooms. Luke would have followed her if he had the chance to leave the grill, but as Caesar had taken the night off he was short handed as it was. He breathed in a short sigh of relief when he noticed that Zach (Who had been sitting at the same table, watching his wife for the past two and a half hours) had risen from the table with a loud scrape of the chair against the vinyl of the floor and ran after his wife. Luke's minor relief was overshadowed by the mob of customers wanting to order and pay that he quickly attended to them, Lane forgotten for a brief amount of time. It wasn't until he had a short break after all the customers had paid and were sitting contently with their meals that he took a 

second to check up on the two. He regretted it immediately when he saw Lane hunched over the toilet bowl, on her knees and puking up what Luke would have assumed was the entire lifetime of Mrs Kim's dairy free flaxseed muffins. He felt a sharp pain that was laced with guilt as he watched Zach hold back her hair and rub gentle circles on her back. Zach spied Luke in the doorway as Lane slumped back into Zach's arms and whimpered at her now empty stomach.

"Morning sickness, Man. I mean- not that it actually occurs in the morning… kinda just happens whenever. Lately it has been chicken that does it. And turkey. Especially tofurkey! One look and she's down for the count." He advised Luke. Lane mumbled a short "Sorry Luke." which he did not feel nessacerry.

"Don't Apologise Lane. I Understand." Luke assured her.

"I'll be ready to help in about ten minutes or so… just give me a sec." Lane said as she began to stand, pulling herself up on the basin.

"Don't be stupid. Zach- Take her home will you? Get something into her stomach- Saltines if they help- and get her to bed." Luke said.

"But Luke-"

"No buts, Lane."

"What about your customers?" She asked guiltily.

"Everyone out there is fed and watered… I'll just have to tell anyone else who comes in that the kitchen is closed. I can still serve coffee and serve pie, it's no big deal, and I was going to close up early tonight anyway."

"Thanks Luke."

"Yeah Thanks Luke." Zach parroted and the two headed out.

Shortly after Lane and Zach had said their goodbyes another familiar face waltzed into the diner. if he had not known she was pregnant before he certainly would have guessed it now. While only 5 months along, Liz's stomach had grown a fair bit since he had last seen her. Returning from a renaissance faire in Maine, she and TJ had decided to give up the next few circuits to be able to enjoy Liz's pregnancy more and being close to her brother and the town she grew up in was an added benefit.

"Oh my god… Liz! Look at you!" Luke exclaimed.

"I know- don't say it. I'm a whale." She joked.

"You look beautiful. Glowing even." He added as he moved around the counter and kissed Liz's cheek.

"Well thank you big brother…"

"So, you and TJ home for good now?"



"Well yeah… at least until I give birth, we just didn't want to be travelling and packing and unpacking all the time while battling morning sickness and hormones… you know?" she rationalised.

"Sure- very sensible idea." He agreed.

"So what about you big brother?" she asked suspiciously.

"Hmn?"

"I've been back only a few hours and there seems to be a lot of gossip going around about a certain someone and another certain someone who might be having a certain something?"

"I'm certain I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, give it up Luke, you know you can never lie to me… especially now that I'm pregnant… it's like my senses are super heightened or something by my hormones, I can sense these things- heck- I can smell TJ coming home a mile away!" she exclaimed.

"Cant we all" Luke mumbled under his breath.

"Oh stop. So?"

"So? What?" he played along.

"Are you gonna tell me?"

"Am I gonna tell you what?"

"LUKE!" she yelled frustratedly.

"Okay okay… Lorelai is pregnant." He admitted.

Luke had to hold his hands to his ears as Liz shrieked with joy and reached over the counter to hug her brother.

"Oh my god! Oh gosh! I'm so excited! this is great Luke! This is great! How is she? how are you? Oh gosh I'm so excited. Aren't you excited Luke?" she paused to take a breath but then remembered something.

"Wait a minute… last time I spoke to you you mentioned that you and Lorelai were having some trouble… does this mean that's settled?"

Luke thought for a moment before he answered. The trouble she was referring to was the weeks precluding the night of the ultimatum when he admitted to his sister that he felt Lorelai slipping away from him. And here he was... preparing to let her go. The thought that he would walk away and make her raise his child alone was unbearable to Luke. There was no way he could go through with it. There had to be a way to let her know that he needed her. For his sanity, for his piece of mind, for his love and for his child.

"Liz… I think I screwed up. I think I screwed up big." He admitted and proceeded to divulge the whole story.

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

-**Oh, My god... what a long chapter! I guess you guys deserve it after it has been sooo long since my last update! I just wanna thank you all for the kind reviews and words of encouragement and ask you to continue doing so as there is not too much left to this story. One chapter... maybe two if I can get enough out of the jumble that is the ideas and stories rolling around in my head. I may not be gone long as I have a few stories in the works at the moment which I will hopefully be posting. (That is if they are worth posting)I have never had a 'beta' which most writers swear by and was thinking that I should maybe acquire one inn future... not sure how I go about it... but oh well. I've gone this long without one. Anys... I am willing to take all hints and tips on board that you have to offer... so REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!!**


End file.
